A Lame Wife, a Hidden Tragedy, and the Meaning of 'Tied'
A Lame Wife, a Hidden Tragedy, and the Meaning of 'Tied'
Part of Ein Yaakov · 21:11
Ein Yaakov aggada beginning chapter five -- a story about tznius in marriage, the Rebbe concealing a painful loss from his mother, and the recurring theme of things 'bound together.'
Audio Transcript
We're here in the beginning of פרק חמישי in in Ein Yaakov. זאגט די גמרא אזוי: כי סליק רב זירא, when Rav Zeira went up to ארץ ישראל, אשכחיה לרבי בנימין בר יפת, he met Rabbi Binyamin bar Yefet. Usually it's where the Yeah. Right in the beginning of the פרק. Beginning of פרק חמישי. Not of Berachos, of Shabbos. No, it should be right there. Yeah, כי סליק רב זירא, when Rav Zeira went up, אשכחיה, he found, he met רבי בנימין בר יפת, דיתיב וקאמר, he was sitting and saying, קאמר משמיה דרבי יוחנן, he said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: נותנין מרדעת על החמור בשבת. You're allowed to put a מרדעת on a donkey at Shabbos. Now a מרדעת was like this: when they when the בהמה has a load, בהמה is not allowed to do a מלאכה on Shabbos, you can't have a בהמה carry things for you. Now the בהמה, when you put when you sit on a בהמה, there's a certain like saddle that you have. Same thing when you put כלים or a load on the on the donkey, you put a certain wooden thing. Under it, you put like a cloth thing that shouldn't rub its back. Now that stays on even when you don't carry a load, even when no one's riding it. So that's basically for the normal way the It's says like this, a donkey בכלל is cold. Says, חמרא אפילו בתקופת תמוז קרירא ליה. A donkey is even cold in the middle of Tamuz. It's always cold. So they put this on like a coat. So that's always there.
Which reminds me of the joke, of the story with Rabbi Yonatan Eybeshitz. I'd love to do with this Gemara. They say once it was a cold day in the middle of Tamuz, happened to be cold. So Rabbi Yonatan Eybeshitz walked out with his coat, put on a coat. There was an אפיקורס there, tried to, you know, טשעפע זיך מיט אים. He's saying, \"You look like a חמור.\" So he says to him, \"You're cold in the middle of Tamuz? So ha, Gemara says, חמרא בתקופת תמוז קרירא ליה, a donkey is cold in Tamuz.\" He liked to get the answer first. זאגט ער אים, \"You know why he's cold? Because he's embarrassed to put on a coat.\" Who was he, a Rav in Who, Rabbi Yonatan Eybeshitz? In Prague. Prague. Yeah, he was, Rabbi Yonatan Eybeshitz, in Takes your place, basically. He's embarrassed, the donkey? So he made a joke to him, in other words, you're also cold, you're embarrassed, that's why you're cold, you're the donkey, you're cold because you're embarrassed to put on a coat. Anyway, so this is a part that you always put on. Mimela, on Shabbos, it's not called that it's called a load or a משא, it's like normal clothes to a donkey, and therefore he said that you're allowed to have a donkey wear this on שבת. אמר ליה, so he said to him, \"יאשר!\" Almost like יישר כח, \"You're right.\" וכן תרגמה אריוך. Arioch also said so Bavel, in Bavel. This was Eretz Yisrael, you should know Arioch in Bavel said also. אריוך, מנו? Who's Arioch? Shmuel. Shmuel. Why is he called Arioch? There's different sevarot why. Here Rashi says Arioch because he was like he was such a good judge, he was like a king, like a מלך, and a מלך is called Arioch is another word for a מלך. אברך, יוסף is אברך. Yeah. Not Arioch, but yes, so say שורש, רך. פרעגט די גמרא, why did they have to say it דוקא in the name of Shmuel? והא רב נמי אמרה? Rav also said it. Now the truth is, Rav never said this din. Rav said another din, that from that din we understand. Rav said that you're even allowed to have a donkey walk around with a basket, you know they would take sometimes put a basket hanging so the donkey could bend in and eat from the basket in order to save it the trouble of bending down on the ground. So Rav said you're allowed to even have him walk around because that's also normal for him to walk around that way. So if Rav said that you're allowed to walk around with a basket, certainly Rav would hold this, so Rav also holds that you're allowed to walk around, the donkey can walk around with that padding. So why did you say it דוקא in name of Shmuel? Shmuel, Rav said this also, because they said in the name of Bavel. אלא, שמואל, הדר מסיים בה, he said, \"I'll tell you why he didn't say it. Because he finished off actually, he finished off when he said this, he said, ואין תולין פרסקל בשבת.\" When he said this, when he found Rabbi Binyamin bar Yefet say it, he said clearly you're allowed to put on that cloth, but you're not allowed to wear a basket. Now he couldn't say in the name of He couldn't answer, \"Rav holds the same way,\" because Rav only holds the same way in one part, in the cloth, but not in the basket. That's why אמר ליה, that's why he said, \"יאשר, you're right, וכן תרגמה אריוך בבבל.\" That's why he said only Arioch, which is Shmuel, said this, but not, couldn't give it in the name of Rav. זאגט די Gemara ווייטער,
תנו רבנן: די רבנן האבן געלערנט, מעשה באחד, a story with this one person, שמתה אשתו, his wife died, והניחה בן לינק, and she left over a son, a child, to be nursed, ולא היה לו שכר מניקה, and he didn't have enough money to hire a nurse to nurse his child. We can read together, ונעשה לו נס, Hashem We had this Gemara someplace else, didn't we have this Gemara? Over here. Didn't we learn this together here? So maybe we learned it last time we were learning the second, the other cycle. And maybe I mentioned this. I mentioned that another Gemara so also speaks about nes. What, Mordechai? By Mordechai it doesn't say that. ויהי אומן את הדסה? ונעשה לו נס, and a nes happened, ונפתחו לו דדין כשני דדי אשה, and he got breasts like to a woman, והניק את בנו, and he was able to nurse his child. אמר רב יוסף, so רב יוסף said, בא וראה, come and see כמה גדול אדם זה, so look how great this person is, שנעשה לו נס כזה, that such a נס happened to him! Mamash a nes higher than teva. אמר ליה אביי, אביי said, adraba! כמה גרוע אדם זה, look how low he is, שנשתנו לו סדרי בראשית, the Aibershter for him had to change the nature, the seder of the nature. So it says farkert, the Aibershter tries not to make nissim. He only does nissim when you have to, so if a person forces a not a person, if a matzav forces the Aibershter to make a nes, the Aibershter is not so happy about it. There's a לשון in the the the Ran writes in the Drashot HaRan, he writes a לשון, לא עביד קודשא בריך הוא ניסא למגנא. Hashem does not make a nes for nothing. I mean a nes is not something he wants. He made the teva and he wants to keep it that way. No nissim. Actually it says in sefarim that this was the ta'anah the Rebbe explains בארוכה, this ta'anah of the meraglim. When the meraglim says חזק הוא ממנו, so Rashi says he says that the the גוים, the כנענים are stronger than him, the אייבערשטער כביכול. I mean the meraglim were 40 days before they were tzaddikim and now they turned into such apikorsim that they didn't even believe the Aibershter could do it? So we find that they had their own, you know, agenda why they didn't want to go to Eretz Yisrael, but such? So he says the pshat is like this: they claimed since the Aibershter created teva, he himself put himself in a position that he can't change it. Not that he can't, that's not what he does. Because and that's true, he doesn't, but if he has to, he's able to. Not only he does, that's why the Aibershter, Moshe said he'll do nissim, but the meraglim said the לשון over there is כביכול בעל הבית אינו יכול להוציא את כליו. It's his kelim, and be'emet there's a setirah in these words. The Rebbe has a kushya. What does they say? The בעל הבית, the owner, cannot take out his kelim. So they agreed that that's his kelim! In other words they agreed that he made the world, it's his! Nu, if he made the world he can't do it? The ta'anah was the Aibershter made the world and set up rules of teva and he put himself, or we're using the ווארט חסידות or Kabbalah, he was מצמצם himself to such a מצב that there should be teva, and they felt that מעולם he'll never change it, he can't change it. Mimela we can't have nissim. But they saw more nissim than anybody in the whole world! So there it depends which which kind of nissim. Nissim before, nissim which is מלובש בטבע, this is higher than teva. In Eretz Yisrael it would be a nes higher than teva. And the truth is, and the truth is that the that the The truth is that the way it was supposed to be, they were supposed to win without a war. And because of the מרגלים that's why they had to fight. And there's still nissim. But what the Eibershter said that originally was supposed to be, they were supposed to go in and they're supposed to have a war, just like in Yericho. The wall just fell, the גוים were just supposed to No, that's not teva. That's completely למעלה מן הטבע. Anyway, they were wrong anyway. I'm saying but the idea that the Eibershter doesn't change מעשה בראשית is a klal. No, okay, have to, you do it. No, but see, here also the Eibershter, how do you explain this? The Eibershter did it! He just said, you're trying to show how great it is, I'm telling you it's not so pashut. כמה גרוע אדם זה. And also it says the Eibershter takes away your zechuyot. It says why shouldn't you always rely on a nes? The Eibershter could make a nes, but then they'll take away your zechuyot. So this guy, by the Eibershter doing this took away his zechuyot. Now, it's not his fault, he didn't do anything wrong here, his wife died, the baby, but לפועל it just shows that it's He probably, maybe he did and they couldn't get it, who knows? Right, but oh, but you see? But no, Yeah, should give him money, you know. The ווארט גרוע, is komt in the ווארט גרוע? Yeah. No, but it was Sure it was nissim, nobody's saying there wasn't. But only when the Eibershter has to do it. If the Eibershter could avoid doing it, and here the מצב brought it that in normal circumstances it how come this ever never happened? Because the Eibershter helps in different ways. And this happened to be a situation that the Eibershter had to change סדרי בראשית. I don't know, but looks like it. And that be'emes is connected a little bit to the Gemara further, because אמר רב יהודה But let's see. אמר רב יהודה בא וראה says, come and see, כמה קשים מזונותיו של אדם, look how hard it is to to feed, that the Eibershter should give parnasah! שנשתנו עליו סדרי בראשית, look! That the Eibershter could have done something else, like you said, could have given him parnasah. So it seems like it's harder for the Eibershter to to make parnasah than to make this nes happen! Right? And that's what the Rabbi Maharash said that parnasah, especially in זמן הגלות is like מן מן השמים, because derech hateva, okay, America things are different, but in Russia in those times with the goyim—America is not easy—not easy easy, yeah, but I'm saying, but over there with the goyim, the שונאי ישראל, there's no parnasah they should hire a Yid to work, it's like mamash like the מן, the Eibershter gives it. Would you say the teva is different for every situation, or for different places? Or does it mean the natural order of things, to work that if you had to go beyond it it's a it's a bigger nes, that's what you're saying. The Eibershter is doing something out of the ordinary completely. Because there's a general, and then there's more an individual. Yeah, okay, you might say. Right, right.
אמר רב נחמן, רב נחמן said, תדע דראיה דמתרחיש ניסא, a nes happened, ולא איברו מזוני. And there wasn't, the Eibershter should have made that he should have food. And other places also, not only here. When the Eibershter makes a nes, let's say you, yeah, but the Eibershter should make, why does the Eibershter make a nes? A tzaddik is davenen that he doesn't have parnasah, so the Eibershter makes that somebody comes and gives him. Why didn't the Eibershter make all of a sudden in his house should fill up with bread? I mean the Eibershter can make that, doesn't do that? Fill, I mean, you mean they found the treasure. Table leg. That was Chanina ben Dosa. That wasn't good. But he gave it back. He gave it back. Yeah, the whole the whole world was sustained by him. We're talking here to give it and not to take, and not to ruin it for you. Not to take it away from your table. Here, they took it away from Olam Haba. That was a fearful thing that happened. Yeah. But they asked for that. He asked for parnassah. There's nothing wrong with ask-, not only there's nothing wrong for asking, you're mechuyav to ask. The mitzvah of תפלה מדאורייתא is that if you have anything that you need you have to ask the Eibershter. You must ask. Nothing wrong. I would figure that that's Chanina ben Dosa, yeah? Yeah. So, but the whole world was sustained by him, it says also. So he had... And he only had a קב חרובין. קב חרובין מערב שבת לערב שבת. And that was the natural order you might say, because the whole world was sustained by him? No, that wasn't the natural order. That that the Eibershter set up that the world gets parnassah through the tzadikim, that yeah. That, yeah.
תנו רבנן, the רבנן learned, מעשה באדם אחד, the story was with this one guy, שנשא אשה גידמת, he married a woman was געהינקט, lame, lame, ולא הכיר בה עד יום מותה, he didn't even know, he didn't realize it till the day she died. So it's, like by, it says by Avraham Avinu, he never looked at his wife, he never. אמר רב, so Rav said, or Rav Yosef, whatever, בא וראה כמה צנועה אשה זו, look how tzniyusdik this woman is, שלא הכיר בה בעלה, that her husband never saw her in a way that she'll be able to tell that. So it shows that tzniyusdik. אמר רבי חייא, so Rabbi Chiya said, the ראיה is on her, the גדלות is on her or on him? זו, she, דרכה בכך, a woman בטבע is more tzniyusdik. אלא כמה צנוע אדם זה, שלא הכיר באשתו, look how tzniyusdik the guy was, the husband, that he never looked, he never tried to see. He was better than Palti ben Laish. No, why? Why are the other better? No, I'm sure he lived with her. Palti ben Laish, it's like a story, you know, I'm sure it was a wife, so he lived with her. But he lived in such a way that he didn't look and didn't see and didn't didn't. Huh? This? No. מעשה באדם אחד. Like the, like Rav Shach, the matmid. The Rav Shach, the matmid is... He wanted to know... yeah, yeah. Er zoekt es. No, there was a guy, the Who's that guy from Eretz Yisrael, that maggid, he goes on, he's darshan? Shvadron? No, no, no, no. Lately, a guy was here lately, and he was, he spoke by the Siyum HaShas. He said that Palti ben Laish came back in a gilgul, somebody else, and then took out his eyes, and then davening for him, he got it back, because he he he stayed away from the the woman, but he looked. So that's why in the next gilgul we have to suffer that. So this guy didn't even look. I forgot.
Talking about Avraham Avinu and Iyov. That the Gemara's in Bava Batra, that he אפילו בדידיה לא. Avraham is greater than Iyov, yeah. Iyov did see his daughters, how they were beautiful, and אברהם אבינו אפילו בדידיה לא אסתכל, didn't even look. Because it says that he didn't know this until she was, and that it says, עתה ידעתי כי אשה יפת מראה את. He found out then. It's very hard to say that you lived with someone so many years and you don't you don't recognize who they are. You mean a wife, I mean. Wife. And a daughter, the story with Rabbi Akiva Eiger, his daughter passed away, they didn't want to tell him. And it was in a different city. And then once he had to visit that city, and they were afraid he's going he's going to want to see his daughter. So what did they do? They got some other woman. And they knew he, so he came there, whatever he was supposed to do there, gave shiurim, this and that, and before he left, \"No, I want to see my daughter.\" So so they brought a lady. He didn't even look, he looked down and he said, \"Nu, vos makhstu? Baruch Hashem\", and didn't even see her, didn't... How did he see her on the day of her death? R'' Akiva Eiger or Leibel Eiger? Who was that? R'' Akiva Eiger. What happened on the day of her death? Huh? What happened on the day of her death? She passed away and he then he saw you saw her? Yeah, probably, they buried her. יא יא, עדיין. So, why why then? I mean, that's okay, she was already not alive, I mean. Then he Then he looked, then he asked her. Wait, why why why wasn't he why wasn't he supposed to sit shiva? What was what was the reason? No, if he doesn't know, he doesn't have to sit shiva. Didn't tell him. But isn't there why isn't there a mitzvah to tell him? No. It says, okay, if you're able to avoid that she're not to, it's not a chiyuv to tell. Somebody else was saying here the whole thing and it was not Oh, no, I think it was Rav Elyashiv. Who did that they didn't tell that his daughter passed away? No. They didn't tell. There was a whole she'eilah, should they tell or should they not tell? And they they decided and he was he was before he he got sick already, but he was still he was awake and he knows, and they decided not to tell. And he didn't know. They said they they one of the things after they say, I don't know if this is true, that they brought the example of the Rebbe. The
Rebbe's mother did not know that her son passed. The Rebbe hid it from her from תשי״ג till תשי״ב till תשי״ה that she passed away. She didn't know. She didn't know what? That her son passed away. The brother, the Rebbe had a brother who passed away. The Rebbe didn't want to tell her. So, even the Rebbe used to visit her every day. So, that week of shiva, he went to visit her. The only thing is he put on the sneakers, he asked them to polish, to paint paint, you know where sneakers have white rubber, so painted it black, she shouldn't know this that it's he's not wearing, and he made up with Berl Junik there was a, I remember, the payphone on the corner of President and Kingston, that he should stand there, when he sees the Rebbe walk in, he was a he was like a הויז בחור by the rebbetzin, so he would call he should call. So, the Rebbe would walk in, and the phone would ring. The Rebbe would walk in and say to his mother, \"Oy, ikh darf a telefon kal.\" Okay, so, \"Morgen,\" whatever it's like. A few days in a row he did it, yeah. Yeah, punkt then. Maybe one day he didn't do it, I don't know exactly. So, and he walked out, and she didn't know. And some people claim that she probably did know, she was a very smart lady, but, you know, she played along. But from the רשימות that she we printed now, her her writings, you see, takeh, she didn't know. How could this son come every day and the other son never could never come? No, he lived in Eretz Yisrael. Yeah, he lived overseas. Ay, kapele. Those years, not like now, but still, if Eretz Yisrael come lived in England. He passed away, but he lived in Eretz Yisrael, then later he passed away in Liverpool. When he passed away in Liverpool, But there were letters that he The Rebbe used to write letters signing his name, put it in the mailbox, and she would get it thinking it's The Rebbe would send a telegram every Yom Tov signing his brother's name to her she shouldn't know. So they brought a re'aya. In the when they discuss with Elyashiv to tell him or not, so they brought a re'aya from this, and they didn't tell him. They didn't tell him. Oh, eye-opening for me. Yeah, yeah, he didn't older people, that this, didn't tell. My friend now passed away last year. He had a sister, Rebbetzin Soloveitchik, the wife of the mashgiach of Mir, and after they still didn't tell her. She didn't know. So I can't they didn't tell the pair. I mean, yeah, you can avoid it. Nowadays, it's mean it's impossible to avoid. People, I mean, normal people that that have to do with newspapers, with the internet, this. People who are not in that world, that's secluded, and they have nothing to do with, huh, so you can do it. Okay, now
we'll get right to another two, three words. Says the Mishnah: הרחלים יוצאות כבולות. You're allowed to have the רחלים, the the sheep, go out כבולות. מאי כבולות? What's כבולות? שמכפתין אליה שלהם למטה, that they would tie their tail the bottom, שלא יעלו זכרים על הנקבות, so the זכרים, the males, shouldn't be go onto the נקבות, it's cause they don't want them to get pregnant, cause then it takes away the milk, whatever it is. So you you do that. So there's like a a rope tying it. So you're allowed to wear that, that they're allowed to have the בהמות have it on שבת. And we went, מאי משמע דהאי כבול לישנא דהידוקי הוא דכתיב? Where where do we see that the word כבול means a לשון that you're tying in a way that you can't produce, you can't multiply? So he says, דכתיב, it says when שלמה המלך gave חירם a present, because after he helped him build the בית המקדש, he gave him some cities. So he said, \"מה הערים האלה אשר נתתה לי אחי?\" \"My brother, why'd you give me these cities?\" Didn't like it, it says. ויקרא להם ארץ כבול עד היום הזה. He called it ארץ כבול. What does it mean ארץ כבול? מאי ארץ כבול?
אמר רב הונא: שהיו בה בני אדם שמכובלין בכסף וזהב. People who were tied with a lot of gold and silver. אמר ליה רבא: אמר, יוחנן, היינו דכתיב? I don't understand, then. That's the פשט where it says, ולא ישרו בעיניו? He didn't like it because it's כבול, שהיו מכובלין בכסף וזהב, ולא ישרו בעיניו? If you see people rich in the city that you've got, he didn't like it, why wouldn't he like it? אדרבה, city which is a lot of money? אמר ליה: he says, אין, yeah. כיון דעתירי, מפנקי ולא עבדי עבידתא. They are people that were very rich, but because they were rich, they didn't work. And they didn't work, I mean, they didn't do their work for the מלך. That's why he didn't want them. But in meantime, we see that the word כבול means tied, that they were tied with their money, with their כסף, their gold and silver. רב נחמן בר יצחק אמר: ארץ חומטונית. It was a land that was very The the soil wasn't good. ומאי כבול? ליה כבול, why כבול means the ankle, up to the ankle, דמשתרגא בכרעא, when they would walk in it, this foot would go in עד כבלא, till the ankle, ואמרי אינשי, people that could say that, ארעא דכבלא דלא עבדא פירי, when you say about a bad land, it's, \"Oh, this is a bad land that the ankle goes in.\" Like sand and mud. Salt, all salt kinds. Salty land. So,
that's for the meantime, but there's the the point is the same thing, it's tied up to something that it