נו״ן. תניא, it says in the ברייתא: היה רבי מאיר אומר, because we're talking here the Gemara about a woman who is not behaving morally, וממילא the husband could divorce her, not the, that's the Gemara here. So he says like this: היה רבי מאיר אומר, רבי מאיר said, כשם שהדעות במאכל כך יש דעות בנשים. Just like there are different, people have different, you know, tastes in food and how, what they're careful with, so too there are different people who different levels of caring of their wife's צניעות. In other words, some care a lot, some care a little, some don't care at all. The Gemara says there are different people, and he gives an example. משל: יש לך אדם, you have a person שזבוב נופל לתוך כוסו. If a fly falls into your cup, זורקו, so you throw it out, ואינו שותהו, and you don't drink the cup. You're very very, a big אסטניס, a very big, how do you say אסטניס in English? Sensitive. So the same thing, זו היא מידת פפוס בן, which is not good. Delicate. Very delicate. This is the

מידה of פפוס בן יהודה, שהיה נועל בפני אשתו ויוצא. If he ever left the home, he would lock her into the house. He wouldn't let her talk to anybody. No man, nobody, not her brother, no relatives, בכלל. So that's no good. Rashi says, that's no good. I mean that's, what happens is, Rashi says that if you make if you make it so so מקפיד so much, then it's it's it's not happy, it's not good. Rashi says even מתוך שאינה נכנסת, מתוך כך איבה נכנסת ביניהם. She gets she hates him and then she makes, and then what happens in the end? ומזנה תחתיו. In other words, if you go if you pull over the string too much, then it'll cause her to find some way and she'll be מזנה. Why, she's always locked up, how could she be מזנה? אין אפוטרופוס לעריות. You could always find a way. The Gemara brings that story with the jail. No, with the, what in Chalam? But in jail. The Gemara says, how do you know that you follow בתר רובא? You go after majority. So one of the ראיות in the Gemara is it says if a person curses his father, is חייב מיתה. How do you know it's his father? Maybe it's not his father. ממילא a mother you know, how do you know his father? Ela mai, we go after רוב. רוב בעילות אחר הבעל, so and and we kill a person, so we go בתר רובא. So the Gemara says, how do you know that it's רוב? Maybe the case is only if the father and mother happened to be locked up in jail, and there's nobody else has access to them, וממילא that's not a רוב, that's ודאי. The Gemara says it's still not vadai. אין אפוטרופוס לעריות. You never know, maybe somebody broke into the jail, it's because when it comes to these inyanim you can't. So anyway, so this guy, Pappos ben Yehudah, he was too extreme. יש לך אדם, you have a person שזבוב נופל לתוך כוסו, person who doesn't care. Fly falls into his cup, זורקו, he throws it out ושותהו, and he drinks the cup. זו היא מידת כל אדם. That's how everybody should be. In other words, you don't eat the fly that fell in, but it's not so sensitive to say that you can't drink the fruit. So that's the midah of most people, שמדברת עם אחיה וקרוביה ומניחה. I mean you, you're careful, the mashal not eating the fly means that you're careful with tznius, but not enough to say that that you you you can't drink the cup, so you let her do it. ויש לך אדם שזבוב נופל לתוך תמחוי, if a fly falls into a pot of food, מוצצו ואוכלו, you suck it out and you eat the fly. That means you don't care at all. זו היא מידת אדם רע. That's the midah of a bad person, שרואה את אשתו יוצאה וראשה פרוע. He sees his wife go out... I mean, he know the fly was there and he still ate it? Yeah, he sucked, no, he knew, he knew. And he takes, sucks it out means he doesn't Terrible. Yeah. But that's like saying that he he he let it's permitted to to to mezaneh... Not mezaneh, but he sees her, his wife go out וראשה פרוע, and he doesn't care. Okay, he goes she's going out without her hair covered, וטווה בשוק, and she weaves in the street, which those days the way that it's not צניעותדיק, ופרומה משני צדדיה, and both sides of her hands are open, like those days they used to be like basically short sleeves and they used to have a slit here that they they walk and everyone could see their bare hands, ורוחצת עם בני אדם. And she bathes with people. Mixed swimming. Mixed swimming! פרעגט די גמרא: עם בני אדם סלקא דעתך? What does it mean? That's not even a hava amina. I mean, if she goes bathing together together with men, that's for sure she's mezaneh. אלא במקום שבני אדם רוחצין. She is there and she bathes herself, but she doesn't mind that people are around and they see her. זו מצוה מן התורה לגרשה. This is a mitzvah to divorce her. See, the maaseh is, I don't know how they went, this bathing. Could be it's without clothes. I mean, not like not even with a bathing suit. No, but it's pretty close. A mitzvah to give a get. It's a mitzvah... שנאמר, it says כי מצא בה ערות דבר, if he found some immoral behavior, ושלחה מביתו, that's to send her away. And then the pasuk says, continues, והלכה והיתה לאיש אחר, the pasuk goes around the whole din. It says if you have a if your wife, you give her you marry your wife and then you see that she ערות דבר, you divorce her, you write a get and you give her divorce. She goes and marry somebody else, and the somebody else doesn't like her either, the other guy also divorces her, so to give the the pasuk is trying to tell you a new din that if she married in between you can't take her back. If you divorce your wife and then she married somebody else and then she got divorced, you are not allowed to be מחזיר גרושתו, you can't take her back. If she didn't get married to somebody else in between, it's a mitzvah to remarry your wife, your gerushah, but this you are not allowed. But lif'oal the pasuk says he divorced her, she went and married איש אחר, הכתוב קורא אחר, Torah calls him a different guy, לאמר, to tell you שאין זה בן זוגו של ראשון. This guy is not like the first guy. He's completely the opposite of the first guy. זה הוציא רשעה מביתו. The first guy got rid of this woman, this mereshet, this evil woman who was not behaving properly. וזה, and this guy הכניס רשעה לתוך ביתו. He took in the same woman, the mereshet, he doesn't care. But if zachah, zachah sheni, the second one is zocheh, v'shilchah, he sends her also away, the pasuk שנאמר, it says, after that it says, ושנאה האיש האחרון, and if the second guy doesn't like her, and the pasuk says, and he gives her he gives her a get. So the purpose of the pasuk is to tell you she can't remarry this first guy again. But lif'oal, it tells you that the second guy divorced her and that's a zechut, because she's a mereshet. I thought it would say zachah if zachah she changed, you know, maybe they they lived happily ever after. That's a peshat. That's hard. Why was that What's the zechut that he should have to send her No, he should realize that that's Basically he's doing teshuvah. So he's he's doing teshuvah. He really he says decides that to have a wife like that is not good. Now he wakes up and then to Now he does teshuvah, every baal teshuvah just wakes up one day. ואם לאו, if she divorced the first time What do you mean she divorced? She can't divorce. You can't divorce. could ask No, you don't have to give. You can't give, you can't A woman can ask for a get, you know. A woman can Then you have to see על פי דין if she if there are grounds. If there are grounds. If she says I don't like him. The din is if she says מאיס עלי, מאיס עלי, is grounds for divorce. Can you remarry her after that? No, no, no. לא יוכל לשוב לקחתה. No, it's There's no such thing as her divorcing him. She could ask for a get, she could ask him to divorce her, but there's no such thing as a wife divorcing a husband. No such thing. Anyway, ואם לאו, if he doesn't divorce her, קוברתו, she'll bury him. Shen'emar, it says, או כי ימות האיש האחרון. It says if the second one hates her and divorces her or he dies, לא יוכל בעלה הראשון לשוב לקחתה, the first husband can't take her. But mimela it says they're two things, or he divorces her, and if not she will bury him. כדאי הוא במיתה. He deserves to die. שזה הוציא רשעה מביתו, the first guy got out this evil lady from his house, וזה הכניס רשעה לתוך ביתו, he brought her in. So עד כדי כך, he deserves it. So she didn't do teshuvah, that's for sure. She didn't do teshuvah. Then A baal teshuvah doesn't do the aveirah knowing that, you know, that he's going to do teshuvah. This one, he already knows. He knows that she's wicked. He's bringing him in, it's just he's going to get into a problem. And he has a problem, but he doesn't care. He's going to do teshuvah? What's But he does teshuvah, he can start caring. Till now he doesn't care, now he starts caring. That's a baal teshuvah. Then they quote a pasuk in Malachi where it says, כי שנא שלח.

Rabbi Yehuda אומר, what does that mean? אם שנאתה, שלח. If you don't like her, send her away, which fits to the opinion of Rabbi Akiva. Yesterday we learned the three ways, machloket Beit Shammai, Beit Hillel, and Rabbi Akiva. Beit Shammai says you're only allowed to divorce your wife if you found a ערות דבר, immoral. Beit Hillel says you could do it even if you found that she ruined your food, she burned your food, but there has to be something complaint that you have. And Rabbi Akiva says, אפילו מצא אחרת נאה הימנה, you found somebody else nicer. You just don't like her, that's all. So when this pasuk if we דרש כי שנא שלח, means if he hates her, שלח, that's like Rabbi Akiva. So he darash like Rabbi Akiva, that's what Rabbi Yehuda said. Rabbi Yochanan אומר, Rabbi Yochanan said, the peshat in the pasuk is different: שנוי המשלח. Huh? Didn't you say of ערות דבר? Rabbi Akiva? No, Rabbi Akiva says afilu doesn't like her, afilu he does he found somebody else nicer than her. No, only Beit Shammai says מצא בה ערות דבר. And Rabbi Yochanan the taytsh of the pasuk is שנוי המשלח, the one that divorces his wife, he's the one that's hated. Not that if he hates, divorce. Dos heist that it's no good to divorce. ולא פליגי, there's no machloket, what's wrong with According to the first opinion, nothing wrong with divorcing. You don't like her, divorce her. According to this opinion, farkert, anytime you divorce your wife, you're not liked. So it's a machloket. He says, no, it's no machloket. הא בזיווג ראשון הא בזיווג שני. Depends if the first marriage or second marriage. The

first marriage is the called אשת נעורים, she's the wife of his youth. So that's what the pasuk says, that you should not divorce her. But זיווג שני, the second if a second marriage, is nisht geferlech if you divorce her. דאמר רבי אלעזר, Rabbi Elazar said, כל המגרש אשתו ראשונה, anybody that divorces his first wife, אפילו מזבח מוריד עליו דמעות, even the מזבח cries. It's only on the first wife. שנאמר, it says, it quotes a long pasuk here: וזאת שנית תעשו כסות דמעה את מזבח ה', this is what you should do and there will be a cover for the tears that the מזבח has, בכי ואנקה מאין עוד, and the בכי is crying, and and the אנקה is screaming, מפני פנות אל המנחה ולקחת רצון מידכם ואמרתם, in other words, you're going to want to bring a מנחה and you'll say why? כי ה' העיד בינך בינך ובין אשת נעוריך, that ה' is מעיד that you did something between yourself and your wife of your youth, אשר אתה בגדת בה. You you were בוגד, you How do you say בגדת? בוגד How do you say? Betrayed, you betrayed your your your אשת נעורים, your wife from your youth. והיא חברתך, she's your friend. ואשת בריתך, she's the wife of your covenant. And it says takke that the first wife, that's where you have the the the covenant is side from her side, his side and her side. It says, another גמרא, אין אשה כורתת ברית אלא למי שעשאה כלי. One that had the first relations with her, to him she has a certain special feeling, a special ברית. So that's the that is So the the wife with the first husband, and the same thing with the husband, that But it's justifiable if she became bad to to have divorced her, why why would he? Why is it such a Here it's bad and she sheds tears. No, if he hates her If it's ערות דבר, you have to divorce. ערות דבר, this אשת איש? She has a good reason. Another is to say it's not a good reason. No. Without a good reason. Oh, could be No, that's that is true what you said. Could be that the מזבח cries even if there's a good reason. Even if he divorces her because על פי דין he has to divorce her, the מזבח still cries. Zogt di

Gemara vayter, this is the the end of Masechet Gittin, now we're starting Masechet Sotah. So I may not have this, so I will get That doesn't have any more? This print is different. I'll get the next print. Okay, get the next one. We still got 5 minutes, 7 minutes. It's okay, I'm going to get it anyway. Okay, pass it on. Zogt di Gemara, תניא, it says in a ברייתא: Rabbi אומר, Rabbi says, למה נסמכה פרשת נזיר לפרשת סוטה? Why did the Torah write in פרשת נשא, the parashah of the נזיר right after the פרשה of סוטה? לומר לך, to tell you, שכל הרואה סוטה בקלקולה יזיר עצמו מן היין. You see a סוטה and you see the problems that she's causing, stay away from wine, because one of the things that causes all these problems of a woman going with a man and hiding all this is because of drinking. You drink, then you lose yourself and then you do all kinds of crazy things. So if a person sees this happen, make sure to stay away from wine. יזיר, become a נזיר to stay away from wine.

אמר רב שמואל בר רב יצחק, Rav Shmuel bar Rav Yitzchak said: כי הוה פתח ריש לקיש בסוטה, when Reish Lakish would start teaching the פרשה of סוטה, אמר הכי, he would say this. He would give a certain introduction. He would say this: אין מזווגין מזווגין ליה לאדם אשה אלא לפי מעשיו. The Oybershter only gives a man a wife, what kind of wife, according to his behavior. If he's a good guy, you'll get a good wife. If he's not good, he'll get not a good one. שנאמר, it says: כי לא ינוח שבט הרשע על גורל הצדיקים. Hashem' will not make a שבט, a bad שבט, stay together with the גורל of a צדיק. Hashem' will not mix together a צדיק with a רשע. So if he's a צדיק, his wife will be צדקת. If he's a רשע, his wife will be a רשעה. You'll get according to what you deserve. אמר רבה בר בר חנה אמר רבי יוחנן, Rabbah bar bar Chana said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: הא? Usually, it's about the woman, she is religious, she make the husband. There is a story like This is before, before you get married. No, this is before they get married. She's not religious and he's and then she make not religious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Usually she schlepps him to his Right, right. And we know a lot of cases where people ask the רבי that to marry a spouse that one of them is religious, one is not, and he promises to become religious. The רבי says, \"No. No. If he practices and it goes on and becomes frum and he goes for a long time, then you could think about it. But now, you never know he doesn't know what he's getting into. You never know if it's going to last or not, that's not a good idea.\" I mean, it doesn't mean that it's a כלל, I'm although there's an exception that you see a person is serious. I mean, I'm sure there are cases. אמר רבה בר בר חנה אמר רבי יוחנן, וקשה לזווגן כקריעת ים סוף, it's hard even for the Oybershter to make a zivug, to combine make a husband and a wife, make a shidduch, like קריעת ים סוף. קריעת ים סוף, some big miracle, so is this, too. שנאמר, it says, אל- huh? Yeah, so he's he has a hard job. שנאמר, it says, אלקים מושיב יחידים ביתה, Hashem takes יחידים, two singles, and makes a house out of them, gets them married. מוציא אסירים בכושרות, it's like when He took out the prisoners from Mitzrayim. בכושרות means because Yidden came out of Mitzrayim in the month of ניסן, Pesach time. He took them out in Nisan, when it's as the best time of the year. Hashem wanted to make it better, easy. That's why בכושרות means כושר, time when it's good. But what so what do we see here? That he compares moshiv yechidim beitah, the Eibershter puts the two יחידים, the two singles together, like when He took them out of Mitzrayim. And the end of יציאת מצרים, actually, was קריעת ים סוף. פרעגט די גמרא: איני? How could you say the Eibershter has a hard time, כביכול, to put them together, to make a shidduch? והאמר רב יהודה אמר רב, I would say never mind,

ארבעים יום קודם יצירת הולד, 40 days before the child is conceived or created, בת קול יוצאת ואומרת, a בת קול goes out and says, \"בת פלוני לפלוני,\" this daughter of this guy will marry this guy. \"בית פלוני לפלוני,\" this house will be to this guy. \"שדה פלוני לפלוני,\" this field will be to this guy. So we see how could you say when it comes to marry them it's hard? The Eibershter already decided before the child was even born. \"Even conceived,\" you say. Does it No, not born, it says יצירת, created. Could be conceived or could be 40 days later. You can still daven 40 days later. Still daven for the gender, so how could No, you could daven for 40 days after it's conceived also. That's what I'm saying. But here it says ארבעים יום before the יצירה, could be it's from conception, because conception is 40 days before the יצירה, I don't know exactly, not the point. And The בת קול knows, but we can still The בת קול doesn't know, they say. They say like this: the בת קול asks, \"בת פלוני לפלוני?\" Oh, I see. So the Eibershter says, \"No.\" שדה פלוני? \"No, פלוני, yeah.\" So they say, any hava amina that the בת קול had, down here, that shidduch has to come forth, and you have to reject it. So they say the Barditchover and different tzadikim, anytime someone came to offer a shidduch, he would pay the shadchan. Even if right away he said no. Not they tried and it didn't work. And he said, because every time you come with a shidduch, it's closer to the real one, because they have to go through this whole process of this, whatever you announced. Now, the Gemara doesn't say, but that's how you taytsh: \"בת פלוני לפלוני?\", asking. But if he didn't pay, he'd still be he'd still be I know, but you'll pay if you did something, you pay because he gave you a service. Otherwise, a guy came and gave a shidduch, was a shadchan, and didn't do anything for you because you didn't accept it, it wasn't it didn't fit, why should you pay him? Didn't do anything for you. So he says, he did! He made it closer.

ענטפערט די גמרא: לא קשיא, הא בזיווג ראשון הא בזיווג שני. Depends if it's the first marriage, second marriage. The first marriage is according to the mazal, and the second why mazal, whatever the Hashem decides, without depending on how you deserve. And the second זיווג, that depends how you deserve. So what he said before, that the Hashem does it לפי מעשיו, אין מזווגין לאדם אשה אלא לפי מעשיו, that's on זיווג שני, that's on the second marriage. There's a long letter from the Rebbe about this Gemara, because in different places, because in other places it says that certain things you should do you can't get married in the three weeks, but a סעודת אירוסין you could make. Why? שמא יקדמנו אחר. Because if you don't khap arayn, someone else will khap. What do you mean someone else will khap? The Gemara says you can't. It's a long letter where the Rebbe is מסביר this here. You have to go through it. Perfect timing actually going to Gittin, the Gemara Gittin. Yeah, to marriage. It's amazing. Yeah, אלץ אלץ בהשגחה פרטית. אלץ בהשגחה פרטית. Yeah.