The shiur tonight is on a subject that's well-known, and the reason I chose that subject, the subject for this week is because it has some connection to the parshiyot of the week, not of this week actually, but from the weeks that we are in now. And the subject is כיבוד אב ואם, the mitzvah of honoring your father and mother. And these weeks we're learning about Yaakov and Esav, and we know that Yaakov certainly kept the mitzvah of כיבוד אב, and even Esav, it says one of the zechuyot that Esav had, one of the special zechuyot that is for his benefit is the fact that he was very, very careful in the mitzvah of כיבוד אב. Actually, I just heard, not in anything any connection to this class, right before I came here I was speaking to somebody on the phone, and he told me, \"I want to tell you a gut vort that I saw in a midrash.\" Fine. It says in the midrash on פרשת ויצא, פרשת תולדות, when it says that that Rivka dressed Yaakov with the בגדי החמודות of Esav. Esav had the clothes, the beautiful clothes, hidden by his mother, and she dressed Yaakov in order for him to smell like a person of the field, etc., etc. So the midrash says, I think Rav Elazar or somebody says in the midrash, that these were special, beautiful clothes that Esav would put on whenever he would go visit his father. That's how much כיבוד אב he had, that when he'd visit his father, he would want to dress up because it was like a special occasion to go visit his father. So he kept the clothes in his mother's closet, whenever he'd visit his father, maybe his mother also, I don't know exactly what it says and I didn't see the midrash, I just heard it five minutes ago. So he would put on these clothes. So Esav even kept כיבוד אב ואם. But anyway, כיבוד אב ואם is a very, very important mitzvah. It's one of the most important mitzvot. I have to say this again, even though I've said many times, many times when you come to this class you hear me speak about a certain mitzvah or a certain minhag or something, and I always say, \"This mitzvah is the most important mitzvah, one of the most important mitzvot.\" Now how can that be? Every mitzvah is the one of the most important mitzvot. The truth is yes. What I mean to say is that every mitzvah has an aspect in which it's more important from that angle than any other mitzvah. So every mitzvah has something which other mitzvot don't have. And therefore, when we discuss a specific mitzvah, what do we stress? We stress that specific specialty that this mitzvah has. So now we're talking about kibbud av va'em, so yes, kibbud av va'em is one of the most important mitzvot of the Torah. We see that this is one of the very, very few mitzvot that the mitzvah offers a reward. Like this we know the mitzvah does not tell us on specific mitzvot what reward we will get. There is general reward, general pesukim that say that when you keep the mitzvot, you will get rewarded. For instance, אם בחקתי תלכו, ונתתי גשמיכם בעתם, it says if you will follow my mitzvot, I will give you rain, I will give you food, I will give you health, all kinds of things. But that's very general. But to pick a specific mitzvah and say if you do this mitzvah, you will be rewarded this and this specific reward, very, very few mitzvot in the Torah. Kibbud av va'em is one of them. Honoring your father and mother is one of those mitzvot where the Torah says, כבד את אביך ואת אמך למען יאריכון ימיך, that you will have long life. So kibbud av va'em the Torah, the Chumash, not the Gemara which is תורה שבעל פה, when we find a lot of times in the oral Torah, in תורה שבעל פה, it tells us different rewards for different mitzvot, different segulot for different mitzvot. We're talking about Chumash. In Chumash it says that the reward for honoring your father and mother is that you will have long life. And this reward is a special reward, the Gemara says it doesn't only mean you will have long life in this world, but it says it means also ליום שכולו ארוך, to the day that's completely long, which is the time of Mashiach, that this is a segulah to have Olam Haba. Now for every mitzvah a person does you have Olam Haba, but obviously here there is something specific, something special in this specific mitzvah. We see, we say it actually every morning in Berachot, we say the Mishnah in Peah, where it says אלו דברים שאדם אוכל פירותיהם בעולם הזה והקרן קיימת לו לעולם הבא. There are a few mitzvot he mentions that you eat its fruit in this world, and then the keren, the principal, is set aside for the world to come. And it mentions different mitzvot, and one of the mitzvot it mentions, one of the few, is כיבוד אב ואם, honor your father and mother. So there we have special reward in this world, the fruit we eat in this world, and we have the keren, which is the principal, set aside in the world to come. So this is special, we don't find this by too many mitzvot. So this again again is something shows how special this mitzvah is. We find something more interesting. The mitzvah of כיבוד אב ואם was told to us by השם עשרת הדברות, Ten Commandments. Imagine this was a special occasion when Hashem himself spoke to all the Jews. So we could be sure that what he told us then were the most fundamental, most important mitzvot that we have. Now we know that all the mitzvot come from Hashem, there is no question about it. And we know for sure they come from Hashem even though they were told through Moshe. We know for sure that the whole תורה שבכתב, the written Torah, was dictated, actually dictated word for word by Hashem to Moshe Rabbeinu, and the oral Torah was told orally to Moshe Rabbeinu. And we know for sure because by מתן תורה when Hashem spoke to us, Hashem said that I'm telling you these Ten Commandments, but later Moshe Rabbeinu will come and tell you the rest. So when we heard Moshe Rabbeinu tell us, it's not that we're trusting Moshe Rabbeinu, he's a human being, we're trusting Hashem that he said that whatever Moshe tells you, you should know it comes from me. But as much as we know it comes from Hashem, it wasn't that we stood by הר סיני and heard it, even though it's just as important. But you could imagine how important those mitzvot are that Hashem himself spoke by הר סיני, the Aseret HaDibrot. This was an occasion that never happened till then, never, ever will happen again. Even when Mashiach will come, it says clearly מתן תורה will not happen again. Once in history of existence, of eternal existence of the world happened מתן תורה with Aseret HaDibrot. And one of the Aseret HaDibrot was כבד את אביך ואת אמך, you should honor your father and mother. So you could imagine how important this mitzvah is if this is a mitzvah that Hashem felt is important for him to speak to us when he came down on הר סיני with all the preparations and everything and he had us there and it was one of these mitzvot. So you could see, understand how important the mitzvah of כיבוד אב ואם, of כבד את אביך ואת אמך, honor your father and mother, is. We also find in the Gemara, the Gemara says that השווה הקדוש ברוך הוא כיבוד אב ואם לכבוד עצמו. Hashem compared the mitzvah of honoring your father and mother to honoring Hashem, because we find the same expression in both cases. By kibbud av va'em the pasuk says כבד את אביך ואת אמך, honor your father and mother. Then there's another pasuk where it says כבד את השם, exact same expression, כבד את אביך ואת אמך, כבד את השם, honor Hashem. So we see that Hashem used the same terminology when he spoke about honoring him, giving him kavod and giving Hashem and giving the parents kavod. So here we see so the Gemara says Hashem compared honoring the father and mother to honoring Hashem. We will explain a little later exactly why. First, let's go a little bit into the details, again not the halachot, this is not a halachah class so we're not going through the halachot, this is a hashkafah class, but let's go through just some of the general points of what kibbud av va'em is.

Generally, we know that there are two parts to kibbud av va'em, because there are two pesukim. It all falls under one general title, kibbud av va'em, but really it's divided into two. One pasuk says כבד את אביך ואת אמך, you shall honor your father and mother. The other pasuk says איש אמו ואביו תיראו, a man, a person, his mother and his father he shall fear. So there are two dinim. There's a din of kavod, that you have to give kavod, honor to your parents, and there's a din that you have to have fear of your parents, two separate dinim. And the Gemara says, explains what they are. The Gemara in Kiddushin asks איזהו כיבוד, what is considered giving kavod to your parents? So the Gemara says מאכילו, you feed him, your father, your mother, משקהו, you give him to drink, מלבישו, you put on clothes, you do things to give them honor. And actually there is a question in Gemara whether a person has to spend the money. Is the mitzvah that you have to spend your own money, or even if you take the money of the parents, you take your father's money, but you actually give him? In other words, if a father asks you give me a cup of tea and you walk over, you bring him a cup of tea, it's his water and it's his tea, you didn't spend any money, but giving him the food, giving him the drink is the mitzvat aseh. So the mitzvat aseh is מאכילו, משקהו, that's the positive mitzvah of kavod. ואיזהו מורא, what's the mitzvah of fear? That's don't do negative things. Don't sit in his place, don't contradict him, don't do things that make him feel feel bad. So these things are included in מורא. And altogether it falls under one general title called כיבוד אב, even though part of it is not kibbud, but מורא. It's interesting that the way the Torah puts it So Rashi in Chumash brings it, but the Gemara says this: By kavod, it says כבד את אביך ואת אמך, honor your father and mother. So first it mentions the father and then it mentions the mother. By מורא, by fear, it says איש אמו ואביו תיראו, a man should fear a man his mother and father shall fear. Here it mentions the mother the mother first and then the father. Why? So the Gemara says, because the nature of a person is that he has more fear from his father than from his mother, and he will give more kavod to his mother than to his father. That's the nature. A father, you know, is more strict, and you're afraid. But a mother, you feel closer, she speaks nicely to you, that's it, משדלתו בדברים the Gemara says, speaks nicer. That's why the pasuk says: Don't think that that's how it should be. That's why by kavod, where you would expect to give more kavod to your mother, it mentions your father first, to tell you that your father is just as important as the mother. By fear, where you usually would have more fear of your mother of your father, it mentions the mother first, because you got to have fear of your mother the same way as the father, and don't think that that's not so important. Obviously, all this is only if your parents don't ask you to do an aveirah. If your parents, one of father or mother, would ask you to do something wrong, then the din is that you don't have to listen. How do we know that? Because in the pasuk where it says איש אמו ואביו תיראו, a man should fear his father and mother, right after that, the next pasuk, it says את שבתתי תשמרו, you should keep Shabbos. And the Gemara asks: What's the connection? So the Gemara answers: To tell you that even though you have to keep you have to listen to your father and mother, you have to honor them, but don't forget you have to keep Shabbos. And therefore, if they tell you to do something that's wrong, like not to keep Shabbos, or any other aveirah, you don't have to listen to them. But by the way, doesn't this show how important כיבוד אב ואם is? In other words, if we wouldn't have the special pasuk to teach you that you don't listen to them in such a case, we would think that you have to listen to them even to do an aveirah! That's how it comes out, because if it's logical that you don't listen to them when it comes to an aveirah, you don't need this Torah to tell you that you don't. So that shows how important כיבוד אב ואם is, that if the Torah would not specifically let us know that you should not listen to them, we would even have thought that you have to listen to them when it's doing an aveirah, because that's how important the mitzvah of כיבוד אב ואם is. And the truth is the Gemara says that one of the תנאים asked: How far does כיבוד אב ואם go? What do we have to do? How far do we go to keep to honor your parents? And I'll tell you in a moment what he said, but I just want to say what they answered him before I say what he said. They answered him: After what you're doing, you didn't even reach half of כיבוד אב ואם! And what was he doing? Says that he was when his mother wanted had to walk and her shoe tore, he would lay down on the floor and have put down his hand so she should not step on the floor, shouldn't hurt her feet, and she should step on his hand. Imagine that kind of honor! And they said: No, that's You're right, that's very good, but that's not enough. You got to do all the way. The Gemara says that if your mother or father would go over to you, in front in public, and tear out a wallet that you have full of money and throw it into the ocean, shouldn't get upset. כיבוד אב ואם. And it says takeh that we know that the great tzadikim would keep כיבוד אב ואם to the greatest degree. We know that by the Alter Rebbe, and it's even the same story is also by the ראשונים, his father his father was a great person, but not as great as he was. And his father lived in the same town. And he moved out of town. His father moved away from his son, saying his son would give him kavod, and he didn't want to take it. So he asked his father not to give him kavod because his father the Alter Rebbe was such a great person. And the Alter Rebbe didn't listen, so he said: I can't stay here, so he moved out of town. We know the Rebbe's כיבוד אם, the Rebbe's כיבוד אב of his father we don't know, we don't know what went on in Russia when he was young, but here in America we saw he would come to his mother and the kavod he would give her. People saw that when he would leave the room where she was sitting, he would not turn his back to her and walk out the door. He would walk out with his back to the door, facing her, and walk out the door and close the door, so he shouldn't have his back to her, because כיבוד אב ואם is so important. Now, why is כיבוד אב ואם so important? Now we know it's an important mitzvah, but why is it that great? And why is it compared to the kavod of Hashem? So, let's go to some of the details here.

There is a discussion in the sefarim whether כיבוד כיבוד אב ואם falls under the category of the מצות בין אדם לחבירו or between in the מצות בין אדם למקום. We know that the Torah is divided into two parts. I would say basically half and half. Half of the Torah are mitzvot between man and man: you shall not steal, and you shall not kill, and you should be nice to people, and you should give chesed, you should give tzedakah, all all kinds of mitzvot that deal between man and man. Then we have another half of the mitzvot which is בין אדם למקום, between man and Hashem. Eating matzah on Pesach is not between man and man, it's between man and Hashem. Keeping Shabbos between man and Hashem. We have not wearing shatnez, I'm just giving examples. So half of the Torah is בין אדם למקום. The mitzvah of כיבוד אב ואם, is it a mitzvah between man and man, between the child and the parent? Or is it a מצוה בין אדם למקום? Is it בין אדם לחבירו or בין אדם למקום between man and Hashem, that a person, just like they have to put on tefillin, that has nothing to do with another person? So here there is a mitzvah upon a person, בין אדם למקום, to Hashem, to do כיבוד אב. Now in Yerushalmi, they bring a Yerushalmi, in Yerushalmi it says that כיבוד אב ואם is based on the concept of paying a debt. If someone does something for you, you owe it to him to pay him back. That's a debt. Paying a debt is בין אדם לחבירו. If I borrow money, I have to pay it back to the person. So that's a מצוה בין אדם לחבירו, between man and man. The same thing Yerushalmi says it's concerning כיבוד אב ואם. Your parents did so much for you. When you were young and you couldn't help yourself, they took care of you, they raised you, they spent money on you, big money, they fed you, they dressed you, they did all the different things that a parent does to a child. So you owe it to them! That's what it is, you owe them to pay them back. That's כיבוד אב ואם. According to this Yerushalmi, כיבוד אב ואם is a מצוה בין אדם לחבירו, between man and his friend. Just like you owe your friend, if he does something gives you money, you owe you owe it to him, you have to pay him back. So your parents laid out for you, now you have to pay it back to them, so you owe it to them. On the other hand, we do find that it's not been that it's a מצוה בין אדם למקום, a mitzvah between a person and Hashem. Where do we see it? The place where we see it is from the fact that in the עשרת הדברות, it's from the first five. We know the עשרת הדברות has tens, ten commandments, ten. On the לוחות, they're two לוחות, two tablets. The first five are on one tablet, the other five on the other tablet. And as all the ספרים say, the difference between the first tablet and the second tablet is that the second tablet are all מצוות בין אדם לחבירו, between man and man: לא תרצח, like do not kill, do not commit adultery, do not be jealous. These are מצוות between man and another man. The first five are between man and God. אנכי ה׳ אלקיך is the first one, I am השם your God. The second one, לא יהיה לך אלקים אחרים על פני, you don't have other gods. Then we have לא תשא, do not mention השם's name in vain. Then it says about שבת. Then it says כבד את אביך ואת אמך, you shall honor your father and mother. That's on the first tablet, on the first לוח, which means it's amongst the מצוות בין אדם למקום, between an אדם, a person, and Hashem. Now why would this mitzvah, the mitzvah of honoring your father and mother, be a mitzvah between a person and Hashem? Isn't it a mitzvah of between a person and the parents, that you owe them, like the Yerushalmi says? So there must be something more to it. So we have to start analyzing and understanding, why is the mitzvah of kibbud av va'em a mitzvah between man and Hashem? So I'd like That's why I opened the sefer here, I'd like to read some of the things that are written in different sefarim, and from there we might get an understanding. But we'll get to the real understanding further. First we'll say the Chinuch, Sefer HaChinuch. Sefer HaChinuch we all know is a sefer that was written by one of the Rishonim, some we're not even sure who it was, some say it was Rav Yehudah HaLevi. We know it was a one of the chachamim from Barcelona, but we don't know exactly the name, but it seems it was Rav Yehudah HaLevi. And he wrote a sefer, the whole purpose of the sefer he goes through all תרי״ג מצוות, all 613 mitzvot. And the way he goes through is it goes according to the parashah of the week, and every mitzvah he brings the pasuk, he brings the root of the mitzvah, the reason for the mitzvah, and some of some of the halachot of the mitzvah. It's a very interesting sefer, it's very interesting to learn. So when it comes to the mitzvah of kibbud av va'em, I'll read you what the Chinuch says. The Chinuch says like this: שראוי לו לאדם שיכיר ויגמול חסד, that it's fit for a person to recognize and to do חסד, למי שעשה עמו טובה, to though to somebody who did a favor to him, who did good to him. ולא יהיה נבל ומתנכר וכפוי טובה, you should not be disgusting and not be unappreciative to a person who did you a favor, שזו מדה רעה ומאוסה בתכלית לפני אלקים ואנשים, it's a disgusting attribute not to be appreciative to somebody who does something good to you. ושיתן אל לבו, so you have to put your mind, כי האב והאם הם סיבת היותו בעולם, the parents, your father and mother, are the reason you exist in the world. ועל כן, therefore, באמת ראוי לו לעשות לעשות להם כל כבוד. So therefore it's fit that you give them the greatest כבוד, וכל תועלת שיוכל, any benefit that you can, כי הם הביאוהו לעולם, because they brought you to the world. גם יגעו בו כמה יגיעות בקטנותו, also when you were small they worked very hard for you. וכשיקבל זאת המידה בנפשו, when you accept this attribute in yourself to be appreciative to those who do something good for you, יעלה ממנו, and what will come out of this? להכיר טובת האל ברוך הוא, this will make you reach the point that you will also recognize the good Hashem does to you, שהוא סיבתו וסיבת כל אבותיו עד אדם הראשון. Hashem is the cause for you, for your parents, for your grandparents, up to אדם הראשון, ושהוציאו לאויר העולם, those that brought you to the world. So if you're going to show kavod to your parents, because you're going to appreciate that they brought you to the world, so then you'll start thinking, well, who brought them? Who brought everything into the world? Hashem. So that will bring you to appreciate Hashem. וסיפק צרכיו כל ימיו, והעמידו על מתכונתו ושלימות איבריו, that Hashem is the one that gave him everything that he needs, ונתן בו נפש יודעת ומשכלת, Hashem gave you the nefesh to understand, שלולי הנפש שחוננו האל, because if not for the special nefesh and שכל Hashem gave to us, יהיה כסוס כפרד אין הבין, you'd be like a horse, like a mule who doesn't understand. ויערוך במחשבתו, you'll estimate in your mind, כמה וכמה ראוי לו להזהר בעבודתו יתברך שמו, how much you have to be careful with serving Hashem. So here we get some kind of insight why giving kavod to your parents is connected to giving to being something in connection to Hashem, because as he says, by giving kavod to your parents, it's going to lead you that you're going to recognize that you have to appreciate what they did. That will lead you to understand that you have to appreciate what Hashem did, and you're going to serve Hashem. So it will lead you to serve Hashem. So we see some connection here between kibbud av va'em and Hashem. But the truth is, this is not really enough, because after all, all we have here is that this is a mitzvah that could lead you to give kavod to Hashem. But it doesn't mean that this mitzvah in itself is a mitzvah between man and Hashem. It's a mitzvah between man and man, but by, like he says, it's because they did so much for you you have to do it back and appreciate, that will make you understand you do the same thing for Hashem. So this is not really enough to explain it, even though it does give some insight. Then we have the Abarbanel. And I'll read you what the Abarbanel says. The Abarbanel says like this: יסוד המצוה הזאת, the foundation of this מצוה, כדי שתהיה קבלת ההורים חשובה בעיני האדם, that the tradition that you receive from your parents should be should be important in your mind, ויאמין בה, you should believe it, ויסמוך עליה, and you should rely on it, ולהיות כן הדיבור הזה להאמין בקבלת הראשונים, and this will bring you to get this concept of accepting what the previous generation has given to you, שהוא עיקר גדול בתורה, because that's a very important foundation in the תורה, ולא יצוייר מציאותה בילתו, it's impossible, if you wouldn't follow tradition that we receive from the previous generation, who they received from their previous generation, nothing could be. לכן היה הדיבור הזה, therefore the Abarbanel says, therefore this dibbur, this statement, this commandment of כיבוד אב ואם, מכלל הדיבורים הה' האלוקיים, that's why it's one of the five godly statements, commandments, אשר בלוח אחד, which is in the first, ולא היה מהדיבורים האנושיים שעל הלוח השני, and it's not amongst the other five, which is between man and man. So he seems to explain it this way, that the reason is because this is, Yiddishkeit is based on tradition. Yiddishkeit is based on what we call mesorah. Mesorah means given over from one generation to another. The truth is you could have all the books in the world, and have all the Shulchan Aruch in the world and all the sefarim, if we don't have a mesorah you don't know what's flying and you don't know what's right and what's wrong and when to do it and what to do. Mesorah, tradition is important, and we get that from the parents, that's why you have to honor your parents. So this is a little bit more explanatory why this is connected to Hashem, but still not the thing, because after all the mitzvah itself is to honor your father and mother, which is something that you do to them. But that will lead you to understand the importance of tradition, and therefore you will take all the things that were given in tradition and you will keep it. There must be something deeper than that to explain how kibbud av va'em is really a mitzvah between man and God.

So here we have the Ramban and the Ibn Ezra. And I'll read you what the Ramban says. He says like this: עשרת הדיברות, the Ten Commandments, חמישה בכבוד הבורא וחמישה לטובת האדם, five is in the honor of the of the Creator, five is for the benefit of the person. כי כבד את אביך כבד את אביך, because honoring your father, כבוד הקל, that is really honoring השם. Oh, here we're getting someplace, it's really honoring השם, כי לכבוד הבורא צוה לכבד האב. Because when He commanded us to honor the father, and the mother obviously, it's really honoring השם המשתתף ביצירה, this is the word, because השם participates in your creation. והנשאר חמשה לטובת האדם וצרכיו, and the other five is for the person, but these five. Now let's elaborate on what the Ramban means. The source of what the Ramban says that Hashem participates in the creation is based on the Gemara. The Gemara says ג' שותפים באדם, there are three partners in a human being. אב ואם, the father and the mother. They are the source of the body. And then השם נותן בו נשמה, השם puts in the neshamah, puts in the soul into the person. He's the third partner. So here we have these three partners, which means it like this. The fact that the parents create the child, bring up the child in this world, is a clear indication and basically revelation of a godly power. That's what it says in Chassidus. You could see in a revealed fashion the godly power, because nobody has the power to make something alive. Whatever you could create, you could create a a robot, you can, nothing, nobody in the world has the power to give life to anything. Here we have a parents, they bring a person into the world, and Hashem, together with them, put the neshamah in and gives life to this human being. So the creation of the child, which comes along with the life, is an expression of Hashem's power that's revealed in this world. The truth is we go a step further. Not only Not only is the fact that Hashem puts in the neshamah a godly power, but even the creation of the body which comes to the human being is also godly, because there is nobody that could create yesh me'ayin. Yesh me'ayin is something from nothing, and the creation of a human being is something from nothing. And this is because there's a special power, and the Chassidus calls it כח האין סוף, the infinite power of Hashem in the world. And therefore, this is different than anything else. Usually we In any case that we get something from somebody, we know it comes from Hashem, obviously. If somebody gives me food, I know it comes from Hashem. Hashem is the one that makes everything happen, but in a revealed way we don't see it. We see a person giving food. Then we understand it comes from Hashem, or anything else that a person gives me. We have to work on ourselves to realize it comes from Hashem. That's why Avraham Avinu, when people would come and they would want to thank him, he had to convince them that, don't thank me, ברכו למי שאכלנו משלו, thank bless Hashem. And if some of them didn't even want to do that, so he had to force them, like the Midrash says, if they didn't want to bless Hashem, what he did was he would give them a bill and tell them you came here to eat and now how much you money I spent on you, give them a bill how much meat cost, how much wine cost, how much bread cost, and he would tell them, you know this is in the desert and in the desert everything is much more expensive, you can't get it, he gave them a double bill and said pay me. He said, well, there was so much money, well too bad, so the only way I will let you go is if you bless Hashem. And they would bless Hashem. But why didn't they do it right away, because openly you don't see it. So thanking anybody or giving kavod anybody that gives you something ultimately it goes back that you recognize it comes from Hashem, but in a revealed way you don't see how that comes from Hashem, you see it comes from the person. The fact that a human being is created as a human being that is something that in a revealed way comes from Hashem. There is no natural way, even I would say with the cloning that they do nowadays, it's all based on the koach of Hashem. I don't know how it would work with parents and I'm not going to get into that and don't ask me any questions about it cause I don't know, but the whole idea is that when you're born it's the Not only that Hashem is your partner and Hashem puts in the neshamah in so without the neshamah the human being is nothing, but even the body that comes from the parents is also a koach, a special koach of Hashem that you could see. You just think for about it for a moment, you say what happened here is a creation of a person. We know Hashem creates, we can't create. Here the parents created. So really this is an expression of Hashem's koach. So when you give kavod to your parents for create for bringing you into the world, which means you're giving kavod for the koach of Hashem being revealed in the world through them. And therefore, this is what the Ramban means: המשתתף ביצירה, השם is a partner in the creation. So giving kavod to the parents is giving kavod really to Hashem, because the parents are bringing out the koach of Hashem. And let me explain it even in more detail. There's a Gemara that says like this: when Hashem said the עשרת הדיברות, Hashem spoke, He said, אנכי השם אלקיך, I am השם your God, and לא יהיה לך אלקים אחרים, don't have other gods, and then He said don't mention My name in vain. The goyim heard it all, and you know what they said? לכבוד עצמו הוא דורש. He's talking about His own honor. Look, it's his ego. Says, no one, I'm the only one and no one else and this and that. But when they heard Him say כבד את אביך ואת אמך, honor your father and mother, they said, oh, it's not only for Himself, so obviously, so here חזרו והודו, they admitted that it doesn't mean Himself. This is the way the Gemara puts it. Comes the Chida, Chida one of the famous גדולי ישראל, he has many sefarim written, he has one Sefer Patach Einayim, I think, there he writes an interesting pshat, and he says what is this meaning that the goyim thought that He's doing it for Himself and later with כבד את אביך they realized that it's not? He says like this: The Rambam says in the beginning of הלכות עבודה זרה, he describes how did idol worship start, עבודה זרה, how did עבודה זרה start? This is how he describes it: In the beginning everyone knew everything comes from Hashem, but then people started thinking and they said, well, we see the sun gives us light, heat, the stars give us this and then the moon gives us that, everything else. They knew that all this is because Hashem gave the sun the power to do what it does, gave the moon the power to do what it does, gave the stars the power to do what it does, they knew that. But they thought because they are doing the mission of Hashem, they deserve to get kavod. They also deserve to get kavod. And the main reason why they deserve to get kavod, they thought, because Hashem gave the sun its power, so now the sun is working on its own. True, Hashem gave it the power, they believe that, but now the sun has its own power, so you have to give kavod, you have to daven to the sun. If you want if you want heat, daven to the sun. You want to thank, thank the sun. Give the sun kavod, give the stars kavod, they used to give kavod. It's a big mistake. Why is it a mistake? Because the sun and the stars don't have their own power. It's Hashem, we spoke about this now hundreds of times, Hashem works through them. They are only like a keli, a vessel in the hands of Hashem. But this is what they thought, and that's why they would give kavod to all to the stars and all these other things. When it came to עשרת הדיברות and they heard Hashem say אנכי השם אלקיך, I am Hashem your God, and don't have any other one, you know what they said? They said oh, so we realize what happened here. Hashem got jealous. He gave away some power to the different things, and now people started giving them kavod, so He started getting jealous. They're taking away the kavod from Him and they're giving it to others that He delegated some power to. So He got jealous, so He came and He said: אנכי השם אלקיך, I am your God, I'm the only one, don't give anybody כבוד, לא יהיה לך אלקים אחרים, don't have other gods, don't mention My name in vain, basically saying, I don't like what you're doing by giving kavod to the others. But when they heard that Hashem said כבד את אביך ואת אמך, honor your father and mother, so obviously this is not it because here He says do give kavod to the parents for what? For bringing you into the world, for doing something, a certain power, bringing out a certain power. So obviously this is not the pshat. This is what he explains. Let's think about this a little further. Why aren't we allowed to give kavod to the stars? So we said because everything comes from Hashem. They don't have their own choice, they don't have their own they don't have their own power, and you can't give them kavod. So how come we are allowed to give kavod our parents? We're saying we're giving kavod our parents because our parents brought us into this world. Well, the sun brings heat to the world, too! And it brings light to the world. And nevertheless, we say chas v'shalom to give kavod to the sun! Why? Because the sun doesn't have its own power, and it's all only a vessel in the hands of Hashem. So how do we have the right to give honor, kavod, to our parents when we know everything comes from Hashem, no one has another koach? So the Tzemach Tzedek answers that the difference between the sun and the stars and the parents is that the parents have free choice. They do have free choice. The sun and the stars don't have free choice. They do their job that Hashem put in them. They are nothing. On their own they're nothing, and they're only a tool in the hands of Hashem, like the expression always, the ax in the hand of the chopper, that even though the one that actually chopped off the tree is the ax, but it has no free choice. It's the person picks it up and does it. Like a person drives a car, the car drives and takes to different places, but it doesn't have free choice. It goes where the רוכב, the driver takes it. The parents have free choice. They have choice whether to bring the child into the world or not to bring that child. So the reason you can't give kavod to the stars and the sun is because they don't have free choice, so it's only Hashem. Here, since there is free choice, you have to give them the kavod. Now let me explain that. Now what does that mean? Does that mean chas v'shalom that when the parents, since they have choice, it means that they're in control what should happen? That's not true either. That's also avodah zarah, to believe that there is somebody else in control other than Hashem, that means that they have a choice whether the person should be born or not, and Hashem doesn't have it, and it's not not in the hands of Hashem? We can't do that, we can't say that. It's one of the י״ג עיקרים, one of the 13 principles of the Rambam is that there is nothing in the world that has choice to change and to do anything, everything is from Hashem. So I'll explain what I mean. They have choice, but the choice is in one point: whether to be the ones to actually do what Hashem wants or not. Hashem will make it happen anyway. Now I'll explain what I mean. In Tanya, he says like this, have an interesting, we all know this chapter of Iggeret Hakodesh. He says when someone hurts you, don't be angry at him. Why not? He hurt me, why should I be angry? You should realize that you deserved it. If you got hurt, it's because Hashem made it happen. There is no way it would happen if Hashem wouldn't want it. So why be angry at him? He gave you a patsh. As far as you're concerned, the patsh came from Hashem. There's no question about it. He quotes even what it says when David Hamelech ran away from Avshalom, Shimi ben Gera, there was this man Shimi ben Gera, cursed David Hamelech. So David Hamelech didn't want to do anything to him, and he said why? כי השם אמר לו קלל, השם told him to curse me. So the Alter Rebbe asks, Hashem told, what, did Hashem speak to Shimi ben Gera and tell him to curse David? But he meant to say is, if I got cursed, Hashem wanted me to get cursed, there is no question about it. So then I shouldn't be angry. But in that case, he asks, if we don't, we can't be angry at a person that does something like that to us, then why should he be punished? Why should the Beit Din, the court, take him and put him in jail? We have to look at it this way: if it comes from Hashem, so then there's nothing to talk about. So he says, you know why he's to be punished? Because he chose to be the shaliach, to be the messenger. Hashem wanted this to happen, it would happen anyway. I want you to get a patsh, you'll get the patsh. הרבה שלוחים למקום, השם has all kinds of ways. Why did he choose to be the one to do it? For that he has to be punished. But as far as the person who got it, you can't be angry. See, you're not angry at why he chose. If a person is angry at the other person, you're angry why he patshed me. That you have no reason to be angry, because the patsh I had to get. Beis Din has to punish him because he chose what he shouldn't have chosen. The same thing is with good, you could ask the same question. We always know that someone does something good to you, you have to thank him for it, and you have to appreciate it. The Gemara says חמרא למריה, טיבותא לשקיה. If someone brings you wine, you have to thank the owner of the wine who sent you the bottle of wine, but you have to also thank the messenger. But why? But if a person, if it happens from Hashem, oh no, I I went ahead, if it happens from Hashem, why should you thank him? The answer is because he's a messenger. Someone else could have been the messenger. So you have to thank חמרא למריה, טיבותא לשקיה. So you have to thank him. Because otherwise you don't understand, why should we thank him? And it's a very important to show appreciation. Mentioned that before, we all know that the mitzvah of bikurim, what is the mitzvah of bikurim, that once a year you have to bring the new fruit to Jerusalem. The whole basis the Chinuch says of מצות ביכורים is to show appreciation. Tell Hashem we appreciate the fact that you gave us Eretz Yisrael and you gave us the fruit, appreciation. And it says that this is the source of the mitzvah of hakarat hatov, of appreciation. It's very But why? Why should I appreciate what he did? And if he wouldn't do it, I would get it anyway. If I got $1,000 from somebody, that $1,000 Hashem wanted to give me. If he wouldn't do it, someone else would do it. I would get it. So why should I appreciate? I have to appreciate that he chose to be the good guy, to be the messenger. The same thing when we speak about the parents. When we say they have a free choice, while the stars and the sun and don't have free choice, what we mean free choice is not they have a free choice whether this person should be born or not, what should happen. That happens only from Hashem. But they have free choice whether to be the messengers to do it. So we have to appreciate them being the messengers. But then let's stop to think, the messengers of what? The messengers of revealing Hashem's power in the world in a revealed way. Another messenger who brings me money, brings me food, we don't see in a revealed way how this comes from Hashem. So we have to appreciate what he did, so we have to thank him, but it does and which ultimate ultimately means Hashem, but directly it is not called that you're giving honor to Hashem, you're giving honor to the person. But in the case of bringing you to the world, which is only done because of the power of Hashem in a revealed fashion, so by giving honor to your parents you're giving them honor for choosing to be the shluchim to reveal God's koach in this world. So really, what are you giving them honor for? Not for them. You're giving honor for what they did to bring Hashem into the world. So you're really giving honor to Hashem. This is why the mitzvah of kibbud av va'em is, Hashem says it's, השוה הקדוש ברוך הוא כבוד, כבוד כבוד עצמו לכבוד כיבוד אב ואם, that honoring the parents is like honoring Hashem. כבד את אביך ואת אמך, כבד את השם. It's all the same. This is why it's a מצוה בין אדם למקום, a mitzvah between man and and Hashem. That means, obviously, there is also a mitzvah there between man and man too, because they did do for you and you have to help them, but this is also a mitzvah between Hashem because of this, because this is an expression, you're honoring the expressions of Hashem's koach. Now, just to take a few more moments,

this special expression of Hashem's koach is really only by a Yid, by a Jew, by a Yid. Let's go to that point a second. Is there a mitzvah of כיבוד אב ואם by a goy? Does a goy have to honor his father and mother? Now we know a goy has שבע מצות בני נח. There are seven מצות גוים have to keep. If you look at the list, we all know what the list is, we don't find כיבוד אב ואם is one of them. Doesn't say it. The list is very easy to remember. The main three, the three famous aveiros that you can't do, and then the other four which start with the letters aleph, beis, gimel, dalet. The three is עבודה זרה, גילוי עריות, שפיכות דמים, where idol worship and adultery and murder, they're not allowed to do. And then you have aleph, beis, gimel, dalet. Aleph is the word אבר מן החי, they can't eat of a live animal. Beis is ברכת השם, they're not allowed to curse Hashem, ברכת means bless, but it means to curse Hashem. Gimel is גניבה וגזילה, they're not allowed to steal. And dalet is דינים, they have to set up a judicial system, they have to have courts. There is no, no כיבוד אב ואם amongst it. Nevertheless, we do find that non-Jews are מחוייב כיבוד אב ואם, because we find by the Avos, they didn't have a din of Jews, they were not obligated to keep the 613 mitzvos, they only had to keep שבע מצות בני נח, the seven mitzvos. We find by Avraham Avinu, we learn in Rashi that at the end of Parshas Noach it says Terach died. So Rashi asks, Terach died many, many years later, why does it say it here? So Rashi says because it wants to tell you that Terach died before it talks about Avraham, because otherwise we'll think why did Avraham, if he left his father Terach for so many years, he didn't keep כיבוד אב ואם for so many years. It's not nice. So that's why it mentions that he died. Who cares if he didn't keep כיבוד אב ואם? He didn't have to. We find also later on by Yaakov Avinu, this week's Parsha, Vayetze. Yaakov Avinu left his father, mother for 22 years, and Rashi says he was punished. Why was Yosef away from him for 22 years? Because he was away from his father for 22 years, and he did not keep כיבוד אב ואם for 22 years. We find Rashi says by Lavan uVesuel, when Eliezer came to find Rivkah for Yitzchak, it says that Lavan was a רשע, he didn't honor his father, because it says ויען לבן ובתואל, because when they spoke, Lavan jumped in, spoke before his father. So Rashi says he was a רשע. Why was he a רשע? He's not a Jew, he doesn't have to keep כיבוד אב ואם. Obviously, כיבוד אב ואם is something that goyim also have to keep. Where does it come from? So just to mention, there is, beside the seven mitzvot, there is a general concept that goyim have to live a civilized life. There's a pasuk that says לא לתהו בראה לשבת יצרה, השם did not create the world to be chaos, but to be civilized and inhabited. So, and that's for the whole world. So goyim have an obligation, we call it the mitzvah of Shabbat, that's called שבת יצרה. And it's not civilized not to have כיבוד אב ואם. But that, according to this, their mitzvah of כיבוד אב ואם is definitely for the sake of civilization. That's for the sake of being nice, one person to another, and nice to your parents, and put something, but it doesn't have this spiritual part of being honoring Hashem. But why not? If we said before that the whole idea, why is כיבוד אב ואם the idea of honoring Hashem, because birth, giving birth is an expression of Hashem's koach, so when you honor those that gave birth to you is honoring the koach of Hashem that's there, should be the same by goyim. But the truth is it's not. This whole koach of ein sof koach of infinite koach of Hashem that's there in giving birth was put into a Yid, because a Yid has a neshamah. And a neshamah is part of Hashem, that's why you have the koach to Hashem. That's why it says in sefarim, why don't malachim have children? Malachim don't have children. So, it says why? Because malachim don't have a neshama. Since they don't have a neshama, so they don't they can't be kelim, vessels, to bring בגילוי the koach of Hashem into the world, into wherever. And the question is, goyim? Goyim don't have neshama either, and how come they have children? The answer is, imagine if the non-Jews would not be able to give birth and Yidden would. Would there be any free choice? I mean everyone would see the difference between a Yid and a non-Jew. So Hashem made it special that they should also have it, because of that reason, but not because essentially they are kelim for it. Similar to something else we find in Chassidus it says, and I mentioned this many times, that the reason a person is made in the way he does and he stands upright, because this is to symbolize Shem Havayah'. The name of Hashem is י-ה-ו-ה. The head is the י', the two hands, five fingers, ה' is five, and the body is the ו'. So, you have י', ה', ו', ה'. Because a Yid represents Hashem, has a neshama, so his body י-ה-ו-ה. The question is asked: how come goyim walk that way? They don't have י-ה-ו-ה in them, they don't have Hashem in them, they don't have a neshama. And the answer is, imagine if a Yid would walk upright, and goyim would walk on like like animals on on all four, what would be? There would be any choice whether to be a Yid or not, or to do the So Hashem said, \"For that reason I make that all human beings walk the same way.\" But it's all because of a Yid. The same thing it says here also, it says it says in Chassidus, that be'emet the idea of giving birth, which is the expression the revelation of the expression of the Ein Sof, of Hashem's infinite power of creating something with life, creating a new human being and creating life, is only connected to a Yid, because he has a neshama and only a Yid could do it. But because Hashem wanted there should be free choice, so Hashem made that a goy should also have that. So if you think about it, even though a goyim also express it, but by them this is not what they really represent. This is only for a side reason. This is what we'd say not their מהות. That's not really what's them. By a Yid, the Yid brings out the koach, the infinite power of Hashem in creating a human being, that is because a Yid has a נשמה and a Yid is holy and Godly a Godly entity and therefore he, his מהות, his essential being is to reveal Hashem's Ein Sof. But by a goy, even though it does, but that's not what his being is. And therefore, like this: A Yid, when you give honor to your parents, you're giving honor to Hashem. You're giving honor to this כח אין סוף, the infinite power that was revealed through your parents, and they get the honor, physically you're giving them honor because they deserve the honor, because they chose out of free will to be the ones. The person would be born anyway, somehow Hashem would make him anyway. But they chose to be the ones to bring God's will God's power into the world, so you're honoring them, but honoring them for choosing to bring the כח אין סוף, so it's honoring Hashem really. So it's כבוד השם. But by goyim, even though they do have, but it's not the same way, and therefore by them it's mainly shevach because you have to honor the person who helped you, a person who raised you, a person who brought you into the world, which is a big favor the person who did it to you. Just from a very practical point of view it's part of shevach. So that's bein adam lachaveiro. But by a Yid it's bein adam laMakom. But the main thing that we see from here is the importance of the mitzvah of כיבוד אב ואם, of honoring your father and mother in all the aspects, whether it's the positive part, or the negative part which things you should not do. By doing that Hashem gives us the greatest berachos, and the main berachah is we have אריכות ימים, למען יאריכון ימיך, you'll live long, and not only in this world, but ליום שכולו ארוך in this world to come, in עולם הבא. Yes, where do I start? Okay. How does כיבוד אב ואם apply to in-laws? Not the same, no, it says it says חייב אדם, no, it's a good question, חייב אדם בכבוד חמו. A person is obligated to give kavod to his father-in-law, and the same thing mother-in-law, but it's only miderabbanan. So, I think I don't remember by who it was, I think it was by the Rebbe Rashab or the the Rav Maharash, someone was speaking something, and it was a question of this person's in-law, father-in-law, and he said that you have to give him kavod. I don't remember what it was, so he asked, well, it's only miderabbanan. So he said, and if it's miderabbanan is what? As far as we're concerned, it's part of the Torah, we have to do what the רבנן say. But it's not the same. But it still has it's part of the same thing. Why? Because it's the people, the people who brought into the world your wife, and you and your wife are one. אשתו כגופו. In like of many halachot we find אשתו כגופו, and therefore giving them honor is also expressing the honor to the one that brought part of you into this world. But since it's not directly you, that's why it's only mid'rabbanan, but it is, but it is, there's a chiyuv. Yes. Okay. The din of kibbud av is true even after they don't, they're not in this world. Obviously not the same way, you can't מאכיל, משקה or you can't give them kavod, you can't give them food, you can't give them a drink, but to do other things to have kavod, yes, it says the lashon in the Gemara is, מכבדו בחייו ובמותו. You give them kavod when they're alive and when they're not alive. I remember once, it's a side vort, but once I was by the Rebbe, when the Rebbe used to still eat the meals upstairs in the the house, in the apartment of the Frierdiker Rebbe Yom Tovim. He ate there till 1970. He used to eat there every Yom Tov, not Shabbos, every Yom Tov he used to eat there. And there the chasidim used to have a minyan, and chasidim used to ask questions. So I remember standing there, and the question came up with something. Anyway, the Rebbe said, the question was discussed whether you should when you eat, should you use a knife. And we always knew, especially as a bachur then, you know, who cared about these all these baal baytishah things, to eat with a knife? We used to laugh at it, that's a very, you know, baal baytishah thing, a bachur in yeshivah, who cares? The Rebbe said that you should eat use a knife when you eat. And he said, the Minchat Elazar writes that the Zohar says, נהמא אפומא חרבא למיכל, that when you eat food, you're really holding a sword in your hand because you're fighting with the yetzer hara. The yetzer hara comes to you, and you have to really fight to eat l'shem shamayim. So the Munkatcher writes, the Minchat Elazar writes, that's why a person should use a knife when you eat, to remind you you have a sword. And I remember standing there, and I was in the front line, and the Rebbe picks up his head, and the bachurim, a lot of bachurim standing there, looks at us, and he said, therefore, I'm telling you you should you should eat with a knife. He said, don't look at me that I don't use a knife, he said, he said to us then, because my father did not use a knife, and as kibbud av, I want to do what my father did. And he added, because the din of kibbud av is even after מותו, if he's not alive, you still have kibbud av, and that's why I don't do it. He explained why his father didn't do it. He said why, because in order to eat with a knife, you have to use both hands when you eat. His father did not want to use both hands when he eat for one reason, because Erev Yom Kippur it's a mitzvah to eat. One of the ways he would show that he's doing it l'shem mitzvah, he would use Erev Yom Kippur both hands, he would eat with both hands, to show a difference between Erev Yom Kippur and all year round, so he made sure all year round not to use both hands. So that's why he didn't eat with a knife. Then he shook, picked up his head again, Ober ir zolt ya esn mit a meser. I remember the next day, they brought knives to to the to the kitchen, and everyone used knives. For the bachurim to use knives, it was such a new thing, but from then on, I started using a knife. But the Rebbe, what I'm trying to bring out, that the Rebbe said that there's כיבוד אב afterwards. And there are other things that we do, to mention the father's name, you don't call you don't you don't mention his name, you don't call him by his name. When someone says, my father said, but you don't say It says even a תלמיד חכם who says a Torah, a dvar Torah from his father, should not say, and his father was a חכם, shouldn't say Rav this and this said, my father said. Somebody who repeats it has to say the name of the person of the father. But that is So you should give kavod to the to the parent even after a person is not alive. Yes. You think that giving birth should be the kavanah? But the, yeah, but you have to just put a little bit of thought to it, and you see it. In other words, it could be revealed. Obviously, if you don't want to see it, you don't see it. Are you asking on the person that gives kavod, or on the person that gives birth? Yeah. Okay. It's true. If I know at the mitzvah of פרו ורבו, you're saying, has to be with a kavanah. But if not, you're not yotzei, because the bottom line is you have the child. But the meaning behind it is bringing the the the, yeah. You're asking why there's no chiyuv to have the kavanah? Right, but it has to be a you have to have the kavanah. You're asking why there's no chiyuv? I don't know, but the kavanah has to be there. It says you should do all these things l'shem shamayim, and this is one of the things to bring life in the world which is a כח אין סוף. I mean, in סמ״ך ו״ו, תרס״ז, he talks about this whole thing of the כח אין סוף, and this is what he's supposed to have in mind. When you were talking about the, like we don't honor the sun, the moon, or the stars, we're honoring our parents, it could be because that God created man בצלם אלוקים, in his image, so therefore when we're honoring our parents, human beings, our parents are the only ones that are in the image of Hashem, so it's really like Hashem, I mean Yeah, but the מציאות honor another person it's also. Why the parents davka? See, if it's not connected to the birth, then any Yid that you honor, which you should, is honoring צלם אלקים. Obviously here is because they gave brought you to the world, they did something for you, they did a certain כח, so it must be because of, yeah. There's an interesting vort that Chidushei HaRim Alter, so he says, he says, as far as on Shabbos, that juxtaposition, Shabbos is the fourth of the commandments, and honoring parents the fifth, is that it is so evident that those who don't keep the Shabbos Don't honor their parents. about the next one. The children go one step further, and they don't keep the next commandment. Exactly. That's a good vort, that's a good vort. Yeah. Two things. One, how does the foster parents fit in there, since they were not the ones who brought Right, so then there is the כיבוד אב would probably be only בין אדם לחבירו. You wouldn't have the other aspect. It would be because you owe them, they raised you, they did things for you, so you have to pay and do for them. In truth, true, true. That is true. And when you were describing, okay, a goy has has children the same way as a Yid, why do animals have the same? That would That would be something which is a question of the bechirah. There would still be just such choices of how to behave. You saw all the animals had I'll tell you. Benoge'a animals, it says in Chassidus this. And to say I understand it 100%, I won't, but I'll tell you what it says. It says the reason they have the koach ein sof, because they live from plants that grow, and the כח הצומח in the ground is also koach ein sof. So they live on the koach ein sof. The fact that things could grow is the same idea. You put in a seed, it rots, and then all of a sudden yesh me'ayin comes out something, has the koach of Hashem that's in the ground. So you have koach of Hashem in the things that grow, and you have a koach Hashem in the creation of a human being or creation of another living thing. So it says by them that's the lashon that it says. Take it as it. The lashon is why do they have it? Because they live on plants, and that brings within them the koach ein sof. And animals who eat other animals only? Maybe it's because they live other animals that grow. But goyim also, we want to say by goyim it's more than that. See, goyim have that too, but that's but that we're saying by them it's even more. They have the koach ein sof like a Jew, but because of bechirah. But they whatever the animals have they also have. But I'm saying, by animals it's just just that. They eventually live on plants and things that grow, and memeila that's an expression of koach ein sof. That's what Chassidus Like I said, it's not so clear exactly how to explain it, but this is what it says. That's all. Yeah. Say by a shaliach represents the one, is one with the one who sends, and so the mother and father express their free choice, does that represent some way that Hashem is expressing His free choice? That Hashem has free choice, has I mean, when you have free choice the matter isn't because Hashem not having free choice between one and what? Right? Hashem could do whatever He wants, I mean, whatever happens, Hashem does whatever He decides to do. Free choice means that no one is pushing you, you do what you want. So Hashem, that the real real choice is by Hashem. There is a even a pele how is there possible free choice in this world? How could something, because free choice means that you're not dependent on anything else, you just do what you want. When it says a Yid has free choice only because of his neshamah, that's a I mean, that's a whole separate thing, but Hashem obviously has free choice, I mean, He could do whatever He wants. No one is pushing Him and He decides. The choice between having children and not having children, is the free choice of the mother and father. Right, but what I'm saying is, hey, the choice is not whether to whether this child should be born or not, whether they should do anything about it. Maybe he'll be born to somebody else or whatever, but that's their free choice. But they don't control what's happening, but as far as person that's born, is born by the choice that they chose to utilize that koach ein sof. Okay, yes. So by a ger, what does he owe? Just respect that Yeah, only miderabbanan he has to have respect to his parents because for a side reason, because if he doesn't, you know what's going to happen? The goyim are going to say, \"Look, this person before he became a Jew had an obligation to respect his parents. Now when he became a Jew, he has less obligations.\" We know becoming a Jew you're supposed to get more obligations, more mitzvot. He got less mitzvot. In order that shouldn't happen, so the Rabbanan said you should honor your parents. And besides that, you have to honor him for doing good for you, but not it has doesn't fall under the category of the what we're talking about here in כיבוד אב ואם. Yes. What about showing respect to elderly people, does that fall into No, no, no, no. Elderly people is respect because they're older and they and a lot of the Gemara says they had a lot of experience in life and they went through a lot of things, so we have to respect them, or ask another question, respecting a תלמיד חכם that you must respect. That's that's respecting the Torah. It's a different point. It's a different inyan. Respecting the the person who learned Torah, so you're respecting the Torah. So automatically direct to Hashem, but that's a different category. And respecting the older person is a different category. But what we're talking about here is specifically כיבוד אב ואם. What about an older brother? Okay, older brother, it says in the גמרא, כבד את אביך ואת אמך, the word את is extra, לרבות אחיך הגדול. It comes to add אחיך הגדול. Why? So it's because the the older brother is an extension of the father. Now, there is an argument whether an older brother means any older brother or the oldest brother of the family. Now, in the Zohar, it seems to say it's the oldest brother of the family, and the reason is because the essence of a person is put into the older brother, the first child. And that's an extension of the father. The truth is that even the others also, as long as they're older than you, they have this extension of the father, or they have the expression of the כח אין סוף before you from the father. No, sisters also, yeah. Sisters also, yeah, it's not only brother. The older sister, yeah, it's not only brothers, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. More question about that? Don't worry. Don't worry. I have a question you have not the answer for. Yeah? As long as we're talking about כיבוד אב, Hashem does all of the mitzvot. Yeah. How does Hashem do it? You have only three minutes. In Chassidut, because אב ואם is חכמה ובינה, I guess He has all kinds of things in חכמה ובינה. Different levels. Yeah, yeah.