Thank you very much. Okay. As everyone would understand, the shiur tonight is concerning the last step of the davenen, which is Shemoneh Esreh. We've been talking about the different steps of tefillah for so many weeks. We started with Modeh Ani, then we had a shiur on Pesukei Dezimra, then on Berachot Keriat Shema, on Keriat Shema, on the first parashah of Keriat Shema, on the second parashah of Keriat Shema, then we had on the third parashah of Keriat Shema, and finally, now we reached the level of Shemoneh Esreh, the Tefillat HaAmidah. And what we have to discuss is, what is the meaning? And I repeat always again, we're not discussing the halachot of Shemoneh Esreh, we're not discussing the detailed berachot of Shemoneh Esreh or the detailed words of the tefillah of Shemoneh Esreh, but a general idea, what level and what kind of thing of the ענין of tefillah is in every step, and now we're holding by the step of Shemoneh Esreh. We know that as we have mentioned many times, it says in the Zohar that tefillah is like a ladder. It's all based on the פסוק by Yaakov Avinu when it says he went to sleep and he had a dream and he saw a סולם מוצב ארצה וראשו מגיע השמימה, he saw this saw the ladder standing on the ground, and its tip, its top touched the שמים. And the Zohar says that סולם דא צלותא, that this ladder, that is davenen. Because when we start off in the morning before we daven, when we start off after we wake up, we're in a very, very low level. And then we start our trip, our walking up, and we go from one step to another till finally we reach the top, the highest level. And when we speak about going up and down, it doesn't mean physically, obviously, going up, it means going up in level. And going up in level in the case that we're talking about now means getting closer to Hashem, losing your own ego and your own מציאות, your own being, your own ישות, if you want to say, and getting closer to Hashem, getting more bitul and getting closer to Hashem. Because when we wake up in the morning, without, before we do anything, we feel ourselves. And what we have to do is raise ourselves beyond ourselves and go higher and get closer to Hashem and closer and closer, and that's how we go. And generally there are four steps. And as we said many times, the four steps are: the Pesukei Dezimra, then you have the Berachot Keriat Shema. Pesukei Dezimra basically means from Baruch She'amar, or really starting from Hodu, going all the way through Yishtabach, till Barchu, that's Pesukei Dezimra. Then you have the blessings, the ברכות of Kriat Shema till you get to Shema, that means from after Barchu till Shema is the second step, then the Shema itself is the third step, and Shemoneh Esrei is the fourth step. And it says in Yerushalmi that in those days, I guess, an average ladder had four steps from the bottom to the top. So, therefore, the tefillah also has four steps from the bottom, starting all the way from the bottom, going up to the top. Now, obviously, within all these steps there are many parts, and each step itself has many details. And, therefore, for instance, we said in Kriat Shema we have the first parashah and the second and then the third, they're all different steps, but basically they're all within one category, going from lower to higher. They're all elevations from one level to the other. And I want to even explain that even though last shiur when we spoke about the third parashah of Shema, it seemed, if you will think back, it might have seemed that this is part of already going down rather than going up. Because if you remember, I explained that the third parashah of Shema, which deals with יציאת מצרים, the reason why we say that part is because it says at the end, אני ה׳ אלקיכם אשר הוצאתי אתכם מארץ מצרים, \"I am Hashem your God that took you out of מצרים.\" And the reason we say that is because to show that even though when we're saying Shema we're in a very high level and we think about Hashem and we're close to Hashem, but we might forget when we finish with davenen and we go out into the world and we are back into מצרים, which represents limitations and represents all the worldly, materialistic matters, we might forget about Hashem. That's why we had the third parashah of Kriat Shema, to show that even then we have to go out of מצרים. We have to take along all the things that we gained while we were davenen all the way up to Shema, that we should take it along even when we have to go out of מצרים. And I explained that that's why it's connected to the parashah of tzitzit, because the parashah of tzitzit, it says in the parashah this is to remind us about the mitzvot. Obviously, we're talking about a person that's able to forget So we're dealing with a person who might forget about the mitzvot, and we're telling him, \"Remember.\" And that all is to show that we have to take along the high levels that we reached by Shema, even when we go out into the world. So, at one glance, one might, one might think that the third parashah of Shema is already going down. We're already taking it, it's supposed to represent the idea of taking all the great levels we reached and bringing it down into מצרים. But that is not so, because as I said, it's constantly going up till Shemoneh Esrei. After Shemoneh Esrei, that's when we start the descent to go down. So let me just explain concerning that part of Shema, that it's not that this is a point where we already are taking it down. What it is, is that while we are going up, we have to then remember that when we will go down, we will have to take it along. Because if we won't think about it on the way up, then later, when we go down, it'll be basically too late. The way to take it down, that when we're finished with these high levels and we're about to go down, when can we really take it with us and continue living under that influence, under that feeling we had, is if, while we're going up, we have to remember that this is what our goal is, to take it down. Which is similar to the famous expression, it says in, everyone knows this Gemara, it says that there were ארבעה נכנסו לפרדס, there were four people who entered the garden. Meaning there were four great tzadikim, four Tannaim, that entered into very high, great spiritual levels. Three of them didn't make it. One died, one became meshuga, one יצא לתרבות רעה, he went off the path, and Rabbi Akiva was the only one that made it back. And the way the Gemara expresses it is that Rabbi Akiva was one that נכנס בשלום ויצא בשלום. He entered in peace, and he went out in peace. And the question that the sefarim ask is, the difference between Rabbi Akiva and the other three is in the way down. They didn't make it down, and he did. So why does the Gemara say that Rabbi Akiva's specialty was that he went up in peace, and came down in peace? It should have said, they didn't make it down, and he did come down in peace. But why mention by Rabbi Akiva נכנס בשלום, that he went into it in peace, when they all went in properly, when they went in, they were tzadikim? And Chasidut answers that the difference is not the way they came down, that's the practical difference, but it depended on how they went up. Rabbi Akiva, when he went up, he knew at the time he was going up that the purpose, the kavanah of all this going up, is in order to be able to come down, to come down properly. And because he was נכנס בשלום, because when, because he went in in peace, that's why יצא בשלום, that's why he came down. While by them, it wasn't just that they were not יצא בשלום, it was because they were not נכנס בשלום, they didn't go in the right way. And the same is here concerning what we said, concerning the third parsha of Shema, that it is in order to remember that when we are in Mitzrayim, we have to go out of Mitzrayim, and we have to be in a level that even though we might forget about the mitzvot, we have to remember. It's not because we're at a level of going down. On the contrary, this is all part of the going up, and we're going up from level to level, higher and higher. From פסוקי דזמרה is a lower level and we go higher to ברכות קריאת שמע, from ברכות קריאת שמע we go higher to Shema, and from the first to the second to the third parsha of Shema, it's all part of going higher. But when we really go to the high, real height, at that point, we have to remember about coming down. But all I'm saying it now is just as an introduction that all these levels are really going up. And therefore, being that they are all going up, when we come to the level of Shemoneh Esrei, which is the highest level, we're at the highest madreigah, we're at the highest level. That's the highest of heights that a Yid is able to reach. What is that level? So, as I've been explaining in all the shiurim, that the levels that we're talking about that we're supposed to reach during tefillah and going higher and higher, are levels of bitul to Hashem, levels of self-nullification to Hashem, of giving up your own metziut, your own being, and becoming united and close to Hashem. And as I explained, the level of פסוקי דזמרה is one level, then ברכות קריאת שמע another, and finally we get to קריאת שמע, we said that Krias Shema is when you realize, you come to the point when you realize השם אלקינו השם אחד. Hashem is one, and you're ready, ואהבת, you love השם בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך ובכל מאדך, with your whole heart, with the yetzer hara, with the yetzer tov, as I explained, with your whole nefesh, with your whole life, you're ready to give up your life, you come to a point of mesirut nefesh. בכל מאדך, if you remember, I explained בכל מאדך, the word me'od means very, very means unlimited, that this is a connection a Yid gets to Hashem, unlimited to the highest level. Nevertheless, after that, we still have a higher level, and that is the level of Shmoneh Esrei, a greater level of bittul that a Yid is able to reach than the level of Krias Shema.

And as we see it from the difference between Shema and Shmoneh Esrei, during Shema, we're allowed to sit. We sit during Shema. During Shmoneh Esrei, we're not allowed to sit, we have to stand. And the reason we have to stand, it says, is because we have to feel ourselves, says in the Gemara, brought down in the Shulchan Aruch, we have to be כעבדא קמי מריה. We have to be like a servant standing in front of his master. We have to feel like a servant standing in front of a king. And when you stand in front of the king, you can't sit in front of the king. You can't do and make any motions. That's why when we stand Shmoneh Esrei, we have to stand, we can't look out, we're not allowed to look out anywhere, we can't motion to anybody. It says in the Gemara, a person who stands in front of the king and motions to somebody, חייב מיתה, he deserves the death penalty. And the Gemara tells a story about somebody who was standing in front of the king and motioned to somebody, and they killed him, because this is called a מרידה במלכות, it's a rebellion against the king, standing in front of the king. So when it comes to Shmoneh Esrei, we have to feel like we're standing in front of the king. And we're not allowed to do anything, not allowed to move. על פי הלכה, we're not allowed to make any movements. The fact is that we do shakl zich. We do make movement, and there are bases for this, and that's all because it is in order to bring out the כל עצמותי תאמרנה, that all our bones, every part of us is involved. So when we shakl zich, it shows enthusiasm. It's all based on the Zohar, where the Zohar says that נר ה׳ נשמת אדם, it says that the candle of Hashem is the neshamah of a person, of a Yid. Just like a neshamah, a candle flickers, so a Yid shaklt zich, he flickers. It says by Matan Torah that when Hashem came down on הר סיני, וירא העם וינעו, the nation saw, וינעו means they trembled, they shook. So we shokl zich for that reason, that should stir us to show hislahavus. The truth is there are some that claim in halacha that you shouldn't shokl zich, and some that make a pesharah, make a compromise, shokl zich a little bit. Right? And you therefore, I don't know why and what, we don't know, but the Rebbe, when he davens, almost hardly hardly shook, but a little bit, a very tiny bit, he would just not like we shokl zich like this, but he would just go back and forth like this, just a little bit go back and forth. I guess he was yotzei all the דעות, so he But whatever, but the shokling, that's a side thing that in order for us to get enthusiasm. It's similar, I'll give you another example. When we daven Shemoneh Esrei, we're not allowed to hold anything in our hands. We're not allowed to hold anything. You can't hold a child, you can't you can't hold anything. On the other hand, we hold a siddur. Not only we hold a siddur, we recommend people to have a siddur. I mean, if you have a table you could have a siddur on the table, but if not, we recommend, we encourage everybody to daven with a siddur. But that's all because it helps you remember the words, you don't make mistakes, it helps you concentrate. So there are side reasons why we do it for the benefit of the davenen. But otherwise, you are not allowed to move. Why? Because when you come to Shemoneh Esrei, that is the highest level of bitul, you're standing in front of Hashem. And when you stand in front of the king, there is nothing if you could you could do. Kriat Shema, there are also halachot what you could do and what you can't do, but definitely it doesn't come to the level of Shemoneh Esrei. Which shows that as much as Kriat Shema is a level when a Yid is batel to השם, ה׳ אלקינו ה׳ אחד, and he just doesn't say it, but he understands it, שמע ישראל, understands it, especially when we explained according to Chassidut how deep it is, nevertheless, you're allowed to sit. You're allowed to sit shows that this is not the greatest level of bitul. The greatest level is to standing. Just in our level, we know a mashal. When you walked into the Rebbe on יחידות, so if you were not a chassid, you would sit down. The Rebbe would ask you to sit. A chassid would not sit down. Why? Because he has greater bitul to the Rebbe than any other person. So sitting represents that you don't have such great bitul to the person that you are talking to, or you're with. But if you have to stand or you're standing, that shows So Shemoneh Esrei, obviously, is the greatest level of bitul that a Yid is able to reach through stepping, going on this different steps of that ladder of davenen. This is the fourth level.

Now, to understand a little bit what level of bitul it is, so let's speak general, then I'll go more in detail. We know that the four stages of davenen, the four of פסוקי דזמרה, ברכות קריאת שמע, קריאת שמע, and Shmoneh Esrei that we're talking about all these weeks, are כנגד the four עולמות, Getting a little bit Kabbalistic. We know in Kabbalah that there are four worlds, four spiritual worlds. When the אור אין סוף, the Godly light from Hashem, goes through the סדר ההשתלשלות, goes through the order of, the of of, one evolvement from one level to another, and it gets lower and lower, starting off all the way being אור אין סוף, the infinite light of Hashem, and it goes through the different levels, so finally it comes to the level called עולם האצילות, the level of, world of אצילות. And then from אצילות it goes to the world of בריאה, and from בריאה goes to יצירה, and from יצירה goes to עשיה. That's going down. When you go up, you go through the same levels: you start off with עשיה, and you go to יצירה, and then you go to בריאה, and then you go to עולם האצילות. And the four steps of davenen, it says in Chassidus and Kabbalah, are going from one level of an olam to another, to another, to another. Which is, by the way, the reason why according to Kabbalah and according to Chassidus, we do not skip in davenen. According to halachah, if you come into the shul and the minyan is holding by Shmoneh Esrei, you have to daven Shmoneh Esrei with the minyan. And even though it'll take you a while, you're not at Shmoneh Esrei yet, so you should skip. You should skip certain parts in order to get to Shmoneh Esrei. And if they're holding by Shmoneh Esrei, start Shmoneh Esrei and you will make up the rest of the davenen later. According to Kabbalah, you can't do that. And the reason given is because these are steps, and you can't step up, go on top of, up to, on a ladder, you'll jump on the fourth step and then you'll go to the second, then you'll go to the third, then you'll go back to the first. S'klapt nisht, it doesn't make any sense. So you can't skip. And it's not going against halachah. You see, if it would be an איסור, see, if in halachah it would be forbidden to do it, then we can't go according to Kabbalah when we're going against halachah. This is not going against halachah. In halacha it says that what you should do, but you're not doing an aveira. The best proof is that the same people who do skip, sometimes they don't daven with a minyan at all! If they're busy and they have to, have an appointment to go, they won't come to shul if it comes out. That means that not davening with a minyan is not an issur. You should daven, and you have to, but for some reason if you can't. So some people don't daven with a minyan because they have an appointment to make a few dollars, and some people don't daven with a minyan because they want to do על פי קבלה. So there's nothing wrong with that! So stam not to daven with a minyan is wrong, but this is because you want to do על פי קבלה and go. My father told me he once walked into a shul and there was this man who did this: he came late, and he davened fast, and he skipped around. So efes a chasidishe id walked over to him and he said, \"Listen here: you did על פי דין, but you didn't daven.\" You didn't daven. \"That's not called davening,\" he said. You jumped around, you did this, you made a mess, there's no such thing. The truth is, you see some siddurim, especially siddurim of the Sefardim, you have on top, it says תפילת העשיה, תפילת היצירה, תפילת הבריאה, תפילת האצילות. On Shemoneh Esrei it says תפילת האצילות, this is the level of אצילות. So if we want to understand what level a yid is able to reach, or should reach, and what is expected of a yid to reach when he comes to Shemoneh Esrei, it's a level similar to אצילות. Obviously we don't reach אצילות. Tzadikim, certain tzadikim reach this level, that level, certain tzadikim reach אצילות, we don't reach אצילות. We don't reach בריאה, we don't reach יצירה, we don't reach anything! But לפי ערך, according to the level in comparison, Shemoneh Esrei is a level which is compared to אצילות. And just in a few words to explain what is the difference between אצילות and the rest of the worlds. We know that there is אצילות, and then you have בריאה, then a יצירה and עשיה. The difference between אצילות and בריאה is not the same as the difference between בריאה and יצירה, or יצירה and עשיה. בריאה, יצירה and עשיה are all within the same category. אצילות is a category in itself. בריאה, the word בריאה in לשון קודש, in Hebrew, means יש מאין, something from nothing. And the Ramban in Chumash, in the beginning of Chumash, on the פרשה, on the פסוק בראשית ברא אלקים, the Ramban explains it uses the word ברא. It could have used the word יצר, עשה, these are all words for creation, for making. The פסוק uses the word ברא. So he says the word ברא represents the first, first level of יש. The כח ההיולי, he calls it, which is the first potential, but potential in such a fine form that there is not even a word in Hebrew to express that word, because the word בכח, which means potential, is really already more than that. So he finds a Greek word: היולי is a Greek word which which which means such a potential, just the beginning of potential. But whatever it is, it's already the beginning of יש. יש means something, something other than Hashem. That this is already the creation of a being. It's still a very fine level. It's a level where it's just the beginning of a יש, but it's already, you cross we cross the border from being purely Hashem to something that's already a beginning of a יש. Now, that's the beginning. ברא is the beginning of a יש, that's בריאה. יצירה is formation. It means to make, to create, but it comes from the word צורה. צורה means a form. And already that יש takes a shape. While it's in בריאה it doesn't take a shape because it's just potential. When it takes a shape עשייה is to make when it's already firm. And we have other expressions for these three in different places. But אצילות, the word אצילות comes from the word נאצל, which means separated. Not transformed, not changed, just separated. It's a level lower than the one above, but it's still no new יש, no new separate being on itself. That's what אצילות. So אצילות comes from the word ויאצל מן הרוח, where he separated. It says by Moshe Rabbeinu with the with the שבעים זקנים, which means the same thing, just change, not changed, but moved. That's why, interesting, in in Kiddush Levanah we say we use four expressions. We jump up three times and we say ברוך עושך, ברוך יוצרך, ברוך בוראך, and ברוך קונך. That's our order. I know other נוסחאות have a different order, but our order fits according to the worlds. We start off ברוך עושך, blessed is the one that made you, and we use the term עשייה. ברוך יוצרך is יצירה. ברוך בוראך is בריאה. So obviously the fourth one, ברוך קונך is אצילות. And what's קונך? What is the meaning of קונך? קונך is not to create, not to make, not to form. קונך קונך is to acquire, to buy. The difference between making something and buying something is when you make something, you change it. Before it was one way, now you change it. When you buy something, it wasn't changed. All it was, it moved from here to there. First it belonged to one person, now it belongs to somebody else. That's what אצילות is. אצילות is already called עולם, it's a world, but not a change in any form or shape of becoming any level of יש. It's still the level of אצל. Besides from coming from the word נאצל, which means separating, it comes from the word אצל. אצל means next to. It's still next to Hashem, it's still close. That's why in Kabbalah, in Chassidus it's called עולם האחדות, the world of unity. There is only Hashem, the world of only Hashem, unity of Hashem. It's also called sometimes עולם האלוקות, the world only of godliness, there is nothing else. That's how great a level of אצילות is. They say that the Alter Rebbe, when he used to write Chassidus, he couldn't finish the word אצילות. When he would write the word אצילות he would start shaking because he lived that level. So he would start writing א צ י and he would stop. So usually in a lot of times in maamarim you see אצילות has abbreviation א צ י with a line over it. ל ו ת is missing because he couldn't couldn't finish it. It was, you know, so emotional to him because he lived the level of אצילות. So אצילות is that level where there is in the level of worlds, in the level of השתלשלות, is a level where it's still אלוקות. We call it עולם האלוקות, the level, the world of אלוקות, because it's already one of the worlds which is part of the השתלשלות till it comes down to this world. So it's called עולם, but it's still a level where there is nothing but Hashem, no ישות, no separate being in any form or shape. That's what the level of אצילות is. Other places the expression is what I'm saying is just a words, but there's so much in hundreds of sefarim about what אצילות is. Other places it says in אצילות we have אלוקות בפשיטות ועולם בהתחדשות. Godliness is clear and the fact that there is a concept of worlds, even spiritual worlds, is already something that's new to it. It's not really what it is. Lower down it turns around. By us, and even in the higher worlds, it's עולם בפשיטות ואלוקות בהתחדשות. World is clear. Like for instance, this world, that there is a world is no question, we see it with our own eyes. That there is Hashem, yeah, true, we accept it, you know, but it's not We won't say sure, sure, I mean, we know it, but we don't see it really. So here עולם is בפשיטות, world and worldly matters are clear, simple, pashut, and אלוקות is a chidush. And in אצילות it's just the opposite: עולם בהתחדשות world, I guess there's a concept of world there, whatever it is, but that's not what it is. Really it's אלוקות בפשיטות. So when we say that Shemoneh Esrei is a level of אצילות, it means that Shemoneh Esrei you're able to reach a level, we're not able, a yid should reach the level where he is completely bateil to Hashem, that he loses his metzius, he's like an eved, and more even than an eved. But let's use the example because the Shulchan Aruch gives the example of an eved. What's the idea of an eved? An eved has no being of his own. The halacha is מה שקנה עבד קנה רבו, whatever an eved, a slave acquires, automatically goes to his master. And it's interesting, the Rashba says, we have the same expression, I'm afraid I'm starting up, בנוגע a woman, it says מה שקנתה אשה קנה בעלה. What a woman acquires automatically goes to her husband. But the Rashba says there's a difference. When a woman acquires something, the pshat is like this: she gets it, and the halacha says whatever she gets automatically goes to the husband. But by an עבד, the Rashba says the pshat is that when the eved gets something, it's not that it goes to him and from him to the master. His hand is an extension of the hand of the master. When he gets it, the master gets it. There is no he. There is no level of an eved. By an אשה, it's not like that. The halacha is an אשה what she acquires goes to the husband, but she is a metziut and she's a great metziut. But an eved is no metziut at all. So when you stand Shemoneh Esreh, a Yid should reach a level where you're like an eved, like the level of אצילות that you go and you reach a level where there is nothing but Hashem, and you feel yourself nothing but Hashem. But we have to really understand, practically speaking, and I don't really mean practically for us, but even in higher levels, but being more practical, what does that mean? After all we explained, when they spoke about Pesukei Dezimra, and then about Berachot Keriat Shema, and Keriat Shema, that these are all levels when a person becomes one with Hashem and realizes the greatness of Hashem, and gives up his metziut, like I said concerning קריאת שמע, השם אחד. So what can there be more? What does that mean that we're in the level of bitul to Hashem by Keriat Shema, bitul of realizing השם אחד, and then we say, no, that's not the ultimate, that's not the real real highest level. Then from there you go even higher, you go to Shemoneh Esreh, and there you really become one with Hashem. What is the difference between the level of Keriat Shema and the level of Shemoneh Esreh?

So let me explain it based on a different thing, on the Rambam. We'll get a little bit into the Rambam. The Rambam, I'll quote a few halachot in the Rambam, nothing to do with Shemoneh Esreh, nothing to do with tefilah, but from that we'll get a certain understanding. In Hilchot Teshuvah, it seems like the Rambam contradicts himself. This is what the Rambam says. The Rambam talks about, in הלכות תשובה, about the time coming of משיח, and after the coming of משיח, עולם הבא. And he says, ומפני זה נתאוו כל ישראל, נביאיהם וחכמיהם לימות המשיח, that this is the reason why all the Yidden, the nevi'im, the prophets, the chachamim, waited for the coming of משיח, כדי שינוחו ממלכיות שאינן מניחות להם לעסוק בתורה ובמצוות כהוגן, that they should be free, they should have a rest from all the goyim, from all the government, they don't allow them to learn Torah and do mitzvot properly, וימצאו להם מרגוע וירבו בחכמה, they should be able when they when they have time, they're calm, they're able to learn more חכמה, כדי שיזכו לחיי העולם הבא. So they're waiting for Mashiach to be able to learn more in order to get עולם הבא. In other words, the Rambam says that the bottom line is why did chachamim and the nevi'im wait for Mashiach? So they should learn Torah, so they should get עולם הבא. So it seems that he's saying that the reason they did it because they want עולם הבא, and they know that they could get עולם הבא through learning. Now we can't learn so much, so they're waiting for Mashiach's time so they should be able to learn more in order to get עולם הבא. That the Rambam says in הלכות תשובה, פרק ט׳, הלכה ב׳. Then let's learn הלכה א׳ in פרק י׳. אל יאמר אדם, the Rambam says, a person should not say, הריני עושה מצוות התורה ועוסק בחכמתה, I will do the mitzvot and get involved in חכמת התורה, כדי in order I should get all the berachot, or I should get עולם הבא. A person should not say that! Don't say I'm going to learn in order to get עולם הבא. אין ראוי לעבוד את השם על דרך זה. It's not proper to serve Hashem for that reason, in order to get עולם הבא. שהעובד על דרך הזה הוא עובד מיראה, if you do, if you serve Hashem for that reason, you serve Hashem out of fear, ואינה מעלת הנביאים ולא מעלת החכמים. This is not a level of nevi'im and the chachamim. Only עמי הארצים, people, lower levels do that. Serve Hashem with a reason of getting עולם הבא. Isn't this a contradiction? Here the Rambam says that the chachamim and the nevi'im, their level is that they don't learn Torah or do mitzvot in order to get עולם הבא. And before, we said that the Rambam says that the reason the chachamim wanted Mashiach so they should learn, be able to learn Torah in order to get עולם הבא. In other words, they were looking for עולם הבא. So this is a contradiction. Then we have another contradiction. Let's continue in the Rambam. One halachah after the other, and it seems to be contradicting himself. Then the Rambam says, והעובד מאהבה, if this person serves Hashem out of love, עוסק בתורה ובמצות והולך בנתיבות החכמה, a person like that it means that whatever he learns Torah and does mitzvot, he doesn't do it for any reason. Not for afraid of the bad, ולא כדי לירש הטובה, and not in order to get good. ומעלה זו היא מעלה גדולה מאד. This level of serving Hashem not for any reason, not for עולם הבא, is such a great level, ואין כל חכם זוכה לזה. Not every chacham could reach that level. A few lines before, the Rambam said that the level of the chachamim and the nevi'im is to serve Hashem not for עולם הבא, not for any reason. That's the level of the chachamim. Then he says to serve Hashem for no reason, just because Hashem said so, not every chacham is there. Not even the chachamim hold on that level. So here we have a contradiction in two places. First of all, he says that the chachamim wanted Mashiach in order to learn Torah to, and then he says when the chachamim and nevi'im they serve Hashem, it's not for עולם הבא, which contradicts what he said before. And then he says that not every chacham holds at that level of serving Hashem not for עולם הבא. So I must tell you the Rebbe's peshat in this in this Rambam. He says like this: עולם הבא has two points in it. It's a reward for all the good things a person does in this world, learning Torah, doing mitzvot, you get rewarded, you get עולם הבא. Besides that, עולם הבא is a level, or a time, or a place, whichever words we'll use, where a yid is completely connected to Hashem. In עולם הבא, as the Rambam explains, it's a place where people see the truth, the glory of Hashem, and their deveikut, their connection to Hashem, is complete. Now, a person when you do mitzvot, you could do it for two reasons: you could do a mitzvah because you'd like to have the reward, and olam haba is the best reward, you'd like to have the reward. That is something that the חכמים and the נביאים would not do. They didn't look for reward. They served Hashem because Hashem wants it, like it says in Pirkei Avot, do not be like a servant who serves his master to get a reward, you should serve Hashem like a servant who serves his master not to get reward. So to say that they want olam haba to get reward, that is not for חכמים and נביאים. But to want olam haba because that's going to be a level where they will be close to Hashem, that they want. And that's the answer to our first contradiction. The Rambam says that the חכמים don't serve Hashem in order to get olam haba, he means they don't care about the reward of olam haba. They serve Hashem because they serve Hashem, not because they're waiting for the reward. On the other hand, the Rambam says that the reason why the חכמים wanted Mashiach so they should be able to learn Torah and get olam haba, in order to get olam haba meant not to get the reward of olam haba. To get olam haba means to reach a level where they will be 100% close to Hashem. Now, as much as they learn and daven, they feel that they're still missing this closeness, and they really want to get close. That's not because that's not a reward. They want to reach the proper level. So when the Rambam says that when they want Mashiach in order to get olam haba means in order to get close to Hashem. When it says the next halacha that they don't do it for olam haba means they don't do it because they want the reward. Then comes the third halacha, and there the Rambam says that not every חכם reaches the level of a higher level. There's a higher level. When a person does mitzvot in order to get olam haba not as reward, but he wants olam haba because he is going to reach a level where he's close to Hashem, the bottom line is that he cares about himself. He wants to get close to Hashem. It's very great. Halevai we all should reach that level. But nevertheless, when you think about it, there is what we call in Hebrew a מבוקש. A מבוקש means there's something you are looking for. You're not looking for reward, but you're looking for your completion. You're looking for your perfection, and you know that your perfection is to be one with Hashem. So, on one hand, it is a great bitul to Hashem. Imagine, a person who feels my perfection is not that I'll eat and I'll drink and I'll gain, my perfection is if I'll be one with Hashem. That's a very great level of bitul. But still, I have my interest in mind in a very, very high level of bitul. That's not the highest level. There's a higher level, in fact the Rambam says not every חכם could reach, and that is to do mitzvot without any reason. Not even because I will get olam haba, and I will be one with Hashem. All I care is Hashem's will. Hashem wants the mitzvot should be done, so I do the mitzvot. Hashem's will has to be fulfilled, and that's all. Whether it'll bring me closer to Hashem or not, I don't care. Which is similar to the famous expression that we all know that the Alter Rebbe used to say this, and, as they write, the Alter Rebbe when he would go into a great deveikut, he would roll on the floor, actually. And he would say to himself, or chasidim heard it many times, he would quote the פסוק, מי לי בשמים ועמך לא חפצתי בארץ, which means who is to me in heaven, and with you I don't want anything on the earth. And he would say like this in Yiddish: Seh! It's an expression the old Yiddish would say: Seh! Ich vil nit dayn gan eydn, ich vil nit dayn olam haba, ich vil nor dir aleyn. I don't need your Gan Eden, I don't need your Olam Haba, I need you. What does that mean, I need you? It means there is you, and there is nothing else but you. Olam Haba, as great as it is, and it'll make me close to Hashem, Olam Haba is a place the Gemara, Rambam says that tzadikim sit and enjoy the Shechinah. Imagine, enjoy the שכינה, נהנין מזיו השכינה. But you know what the word enjoyment means? Enjoyment means is self-gratification, it's something that I enjoy. Some people, lehavdil, enjoy a geshmake shtikl cake, and the tzadik enjoys the זיו השכינה. But he enjoys it, it's him. It's bitul, because when a person enjoys Hashem and knows that he's doing it because he wants to be close to Hashem is the greatest level of bitul we could think of. And still it's not the real, real bitul, it's him. But the other level, that's the level where there is no him, there's nothing there. We don't gain anything. Which is really the depth of the pshat where it says, there's a saying that is brought down in Likkutei Torah, that a yid says to השם, אילמלי נצטוינו לחטוב עצים, if the Eibershter would tell us to chop woods, we would do that, too. That shows how a yid wants to do the will of Hashem. And the question that's asked, what does that mean? If Hashem would tell us to chop woods, it would be a mitzvah. So what's the big chidush? What's so special? Why is chopping woods less important than taking straps and black boxes and wrapping it around your hand every morning? This is meshuga and that's meshuga. To take boxes that and put them on and kind of stick it out of your head, it's crazy. Why do we do it? Because Hashem said so. So if Hashem would say take an axe to chop woods, it's just as good. So what's the big chidush if you would tell us to chop woods, we would do it also? So the Alter Rebbe explains the pshat like this. We know now that when we put on tefillin, or any mitzvah that we do, it brings us closer to Hashem. So we do it. If a person chops woods now, not being a mitzvah, that doesn't make him closer to Hashem. And that's what we say: if you would tell us to chop woods the same way it's now, in other words, you would tell us clearly, chop woods, and it won't make you closer to Hashem, it won't accomplish anything, we would still do it. Why? If you're looking for some goal, great goal, then there's no goal here. The whole idea is we're not looking for a goal, and we don't care what we accomplish. We want to do what Hashem wants, there's nothing but Hashem's will. And that's the highest level. So applying that to here, we're talking about a Yid reaching the highest level of bittul. So we start off with Pesukei Dezimra where he's still lower level, it's still Asiyah, and then we go to Yetzirah and to Beriah, and we said Kriat Shema is like Beriah, but it's a very great level of bittul. You recognize השם אחד. So what can there be more? Now you're going to Shemoneh Esrei, and Shemoneh Esrei is complete bittul, up to can no more. What does that mean? How can you go higher if you're completely battel to Hashem? The answer is, in the highest level of bittul we imagine, there is still a level higher, because any bittul, even of Kriat Shema, means that we reach a level where I feel that there's nothing but Hashem, that's all I want, to get as close to Hashem. But you heard the word: I want to get close to Hashem. There is this I that's there. In Tanya, he uses the expression יש מי שאוהב. There is still somebody who loves. You say, \"Yeah, but I love Hashem.\" So there is, \"I love Hashem.\" Who are you? Who am I? I, I love Hashem. So even though we're talking about real great people who see, but there's still this I. That's the yesh. That is Beriah. Beriah is only potential of yesh. There's no real yesh there, as I said before, it's only potential. But there is that little bit of yesh, that little bit of something of I. And you know I is written in capital letter, even if it's the middle of a sentence, because I. And that's, that's yesh. There's that little I. They always, they used to say by Chassidim, by a farbrengen, they used to give an example that when the first train came out, no one could believe it. Wagons are going without horses pulling it? So, but finally it came, so there was one little shtetl, when the first train was supposed to pass by, and everyone went out to see the train. And when the train passed by, you can imagine, the locomotive with the steam and everything, but there's a train slowly passed by, and everyone was standing. And then we had this elder of the town, and everyone was waiting, what kind of comment, they saw with their own eyes that it's going without horses. And when the train passed by, they asked him, \"nu, what do you say?\" He's thinking and thinking, and he says, \"I bet you there's a little horse someplace hidden there.\" There is bittul and bittul and bittul, there's a little horse someplace hidden within the person. The \"I love Hashem, I am battel to Hashem,\" and that's Kriat Shema. And Shemoneh Esrei is supposed to be, there is no I. It's like אצילות. There is no ישות whatsoever. That's like the highest level we're talking about here, where there's Hashem, and I'm only here as an extension of fulfilling Hashem's will, and that's all, there is no מציאות. And that's the very high level of bitul. Now obviously it's very hard for, say, every single Yid, when you daven Shemoneh Esrei, to reach that level. But לפי ערך, in comparison, we could, at least we should know what it's about. That's also good, at least we know what שמונה עשרה באמת means. But even not, according to our level of emet, we could somehow have a little bit of it. And then there is another point, a little bit late, but I'll take another few minutes.

We know that in Shemoneh Esrei, the main part of Shemoneh Esrei is בקשת צרכיו. בקשת צרכיו means you beg Hashem for your needs. We have three brachot in the beginning which is praising Hashem. Then at the end, we have three brachot of thanking Hashem. And the middle, most of the brachot, this is six, and we have 13 brachot in the middle, which is asking Hashem for everything that we need. And the truth is, all need of a human being that ever possible are put into the brachot. When the chachamim established the 18 and later made 19 brachot, they put in somehow, in the words, every single possible need a Yid throughout all generations might have. They tell a story, once someone came to the Rabbi Rashab and said to him, \"I have a problem, and I don't know how to express myself to Hashem to ask for it.\" So he says, \"daven Shemoneh Esrei, and when you daven, be mechaven for your problem, because whatever your problem is, it's there.\" So they put in, and actually this is the mitzvah of tefillah. מדאורייתא, the mitzvah of tefillah is, once a day a person has to ask Hashem for his needs. Besides, whenever a person feels that there is something that he needs, he must ask Hashem. That's the mitzvah of tefillah from the Torah. You must ask Hashem. The reason for it, all kinds of sefarim we once went into years ago, we had a shiur on tefillah, I explained, but this is what the mitzvah is, to ask Hashem for your needs. Now, this seems to contradict what I've been bringing out till now. Because till now, I was trying to bring out that when it comes to Shemoneh Esrei, you reach such a high level that there is nothing, there is no you, there is no I in any form or shape. The Kleine Ferdele is not there either, the little horse is not there. The little potential יש is not there. You're supposed to be only Hashem and there's all ratzon Hashem. There's no I. So how come, how's it possible that at the same time, what is Shemoneh Esrei all about? It's the fulfillment of the commandment of asking Hashem for your needs. The answer is there are two reasons possible why a person asks Hashem for his needs. One way is because I need. I need this, I need that, there's the I involved. Then there's another thing. In order for me to fulfill the will of Hashem, I have to be healthy. We know that. You can't be sick and learn Torah and do mitzvot. We know the famous expression that the Mezeritcher Maggid wrote to his son, he had a son who used to fast a lot, so he wrote to him, \"Stop fasting, you're hurting your, you're harming your, damaging your health.\" And he wrote to him, \"a kleine lach\" lechele in guf iz a groise lach in der neshama. A small hole in the body could be a big hole in your neshama, because you can't serve Hashem. When a person is hungry, you can't learn, you can't daven, when a person doesn't have money, he's poor, he can't, all the anything that you feel that you need, you're missing, it will stop you from really serving Hashem. So you could ask Hashem, \"Give me what I need, not because I need it, because that's the way your ratzon, your will will be fulfilled. You want your will to be fulfilled, and you want it through me, through him, through him, through me, through me, too, and that's all I'm here, I have nothing of my own. So if you give me a refuah, then your will will be fulfilled.\" And that's the reason why the Chachamim put this these bakashot, all these things that we need into Shemoneh Esrei. Why didn't they do it before? Because they wanted it to be in such a way that is the real way of asking Hashem for it. Because if they would put it earlier when you didn't reach that level and there is still a little I, you will ask Hashem for your needs where your I is still involved. So I need, which by the way it's not so directly connected, reminds me of a story, and I'm not going to go into the long story, that once there was a chasid of the Alter Rebbe was a very rich man and he promised a lot of tzedakah and he promised his relatives that he would pay for the weddings of their daughters and give nedan and his own Anyway, finally something happened and he went was almost going bankrupt, he went bankrupt, and he came running to the Alter Rebbe, he was a chasidishe id, a real baal tzedakah, came to the Alter Rebbe and told the Alter Rebbe, this is what happened, and he said clearly to the Alter Rebbe, \"I don't care about myself, I don't care if I'm poor, but look at all these these widows that I promised money, and my niece I promised to pay for this and this, and all the things that I promised tzedakah. What should I do?\" But the way he expressed himself at the end, he said, \"Rebbe, I need this amount of money for this, I need this amount of money for this and this.\" So the Alter Rebbe stopped and looked at him, the Alter Rebbe used to have a candle by yechidut and took the candle, I think, and looked at him and he said, \"du zogst altz vos men, du darfst. Ober vos men darf dir, dos zogstu nisht. You say what you need, why they need you here, that you don't think about, why you're needed here.\" When he heard it, he fainted, they pulled him out, they revived him, he didn't go home, he sat in the shul by the Alter Rebbe for two, three weeks, learning and davenen and thinking about what the Alter Rebbe told him. After a few weeks, the Alter Rebbe sent his shamash, call him in, when he called him in, he says, \"Now you're ready.\" He gave him a brachah and he told him what to do, end was he became rich again. But the first point was I need. So if the brachot would have these בקשות, these things that we asked for would have been said before, there would have been really ourselves involved. So especially the chachamim put it into Shemoneh Esrei. When you reach they're supposed to reach a level of bitul, then when we ask השם רפאנו and ברך עלינו and all the different brachot we ask for, then we're asking in the right way, which fits to what the Mezritcher Maggid said. I'm going a little overboard with this. The Mezritcher Maggid said, there's a Mishnah that says, \"אין עומדין להתפלל אלא מתוך כובד ראש.\" You don't You're not allowed to start davenen unless you have כובד ראש. כובד ראש means the literal translation is a heavy head, but what it means is you have to have yirat shamayim and you have to have bitul, but he said a different peshat. The כובד ראש is when you daven, don't daven for yourself. Daven why the rosh Who's the rosh? The head. Hashem. He calls it רישא דכל רישין, the head of all heads. Why Hashem is missing, why the Shechinah is in galut. So you think about Hashem, that's what you should have. And the Rebbe asks the question, how could the Mezritcher Maggid say such a peshat against halachah? In halachah, you have to daven for your needs. So the Mezritcher Maggid said, \"Don't daven for your needs, daven for Hashem.\" And the Rebbe says, \"It's no contradiction. It's the same thing. If you really daven the right way, when you daven for yourself, you're davening for Hashem. When you're davening for your needs, it's because that's the way Hashem will gain.\" So you say, \"Hashem, you will gain if I am healthy.\" Now, some people could just say that and not mean it, they mean themselves, but the real, real level of Shemoneh Esrei is that. And this is what a person is supposed to think when he gets get up to Shemoneh Esrei. So at least if we know what it is, it's already, you know, when we know They say they asked the Alter Rebbe once, he was teaching in Chassidus deeper ענינים of high spiritual levels, all the way up in the highest levels, so someone asked him, \"No one understands here what it means, no one really holds by that level, so why are we learning this?\" So he said, \"I'll tell you why. It's because of the aha.\" What do you mean aha? So he said like this, \"When Mashiach will come, we're going to learn about these levels again, but then we will hold at the level. So if you know learned about it before, then you'll learn about אצילות, 'Ah! This is אצילות!' Then you'll see it, you'll have the If you never learned about אצילות, then you won't have that aha. Like this, you'll have, 'Ah! אהא, יעצט פארשטיי איך!' Then you'll learn about עתיק, 'Oh, now I see it! This is I always knew learned about it!' So at least if we learn about what Shemoneh Esrei is, So then we might at one point come, aha, this is what we heard by the shiur, that אצילות, what what Shemoneh Esrei is. At least we know it's already a beginning of something that we try to strive and we get a billionth of what's supposed to be, is already good. And some people might get more and more, at least we're looking they're up in the right direction. And from that Shemoneh Esrei, the next step is, and I don't think we're going to continue the series of tefillah because about Tachanun and this already we had a shiur once before a year, a year ago or something, so I think with this we'll finish the lecture the series of tefillah, but the idea is that after Shemoneh Esrei, what you're supposed to do is take that highest, highest level, and not leave it up there on top of the ladder, you're supposed to walk down. When you come back is the rest of the davenen, you take along with it that when you come back to this world, you still have the feeling of all these ענינים with you while you're in the world. And that to a certain degree is harder than going up. You go up is one thing, but to take it back down, just like בגשמיות, you go up is one thing, when you come down with a package, up you don't have a package with you, you come down you have the suitcase with all the things you have, you're coming down it's heavy, it's not easy. But you got to come down with it and take it with you. That's why they say the Mezeritcher Magid would not daven with a minyan. He said he can't, he has to meditate, he has to daven. But from after Shemoneh Esrei and on, he said he needs a minyan. Cuz that's so hard that he can't manage himself, he needs help. So he would ask for the minyan to come, and a minyan from down there because that And what happens is we take it down also four levels, till we come to Aleinu, when we finish, and then we're ready to go out for the day's work into the world and bring Godliness into the world.