The shiur tonight is going to be in the subject of nedarim, vows, the importance of it or the importance of keeping it, or the importance of really trying not to make any vows. We know that the din of nedarim, the fact that we are obligated to keep any vow that we make, is basically learned out from two places in the Torah. There are two parts, two places in the Chumash where it talks about vows, mainly, one is in Parshat Matot, that's in towards the end of Chumash Bamidbar, and one is in Parshat Ki Tetze, that's in Chumash Devarim. In Parshat Matot the pasuk says, \"ככל היוצא מפיו יעשה.\" Parshat Matot is a part of the Torah that deals with many laws concerning vows, that if you make a vow you have to keep and all kinds of other laws concerning nedarim, but the, the pasuk, that verse that tells us that you must keep a neder that you make, is \"ככל היוצא מפיו יעשה,\" whatever will come out of your mouth you have to do. You promise to do something, you have to do it. Then there's another pasuk which is in Parshat Ki Tetze. There it says, \"מוצא שפתיך תשמור ועשית כאשר נדרת,\" which means \"מוצא שפתיך,\" what comes out of your lips, \"תשמור,\" you must watch, and you shall do as you had vowed, as you had promised. So we have these two pesukim. Basically, the two sources of this halacha of nedarim refers to two different types of nedarim, two different types of vows. This halacha, this law of nedarim is divided basically into two parts. One we call, Rambam talks about it at length, one we call נדרי איסור and one we call נדרי הקדש. נדרי איסור means nedarim, vows, that a person will forbid certain things upon himself. Like if a person will make a vow that I promise I will not eat this and this, that's called נדרי איסור. That's a neder, it's a vow that you made an issur. Certain, something that was permitted according to halacha, something you were allowed to do or allowed to eat, and you take upon yourself not to do it, not to eat it, that's a נדר של איסור, that's called נדרי איסור. Then we have the other kind which is called נדרי הקדש. If a person promises that he will make something hekdesh, he will make something holy. Basically this applied the time of the Beit HaMikdash when they used to have korbanot, sacrifices, and a person would take upon himself to bring a sacrifice. So if a person would make a neder, a promise that he is going to bring a certain sacrifice, that neder was called a neder of הקדש, a neder of holiness. Or if he would say upon something, this shall be holy for a sacrifice, that was a neder of הקדש. Nowadays this doesn't apply because we don't have קרבנות. But we have something similar. If a person promises to give tzedakah, if a person promises to give charity, that would fall under the category of נדרי הקדש, a neder which is connected to הקדש, while the other one is called נדרי איסור, נדרים that are connected to איסור, to make certain things forbidden. The general difference between these two types of נדרים is one is concerning something holy, a mitzvah, like concerning charity, tzedakah, and one is concerning secular matters. We're not talking about doing a mitzvah. A mitzvah a person is supposed to do whether he makes a neder or not. Things which are forbidden to be eaten or forbidden to be done, you don't have to make a neder, there's no purpose in making a neder, making a vow. So we're talking about secular matters, things which are not holy, things which are not forbidden, and nevertheless a person if he takes upon himself to do it, if he promises to do it, or takes upon himself not to do something which he is allowed to do, that falls under the category of a נדר איסור. And then when we talk about a neder to give charity or to do a good deed, that would fall under the category, the general category of נדרי הקדש. So basically we have these two categories of נדרים, and as I said before, they are learned out from two separate parts of the Torah. In Parashat Matot where the pasuk says \"ככל היוצא מפיו יעשה,\" whatever comes out of your mouth you shall do, that talks about נדרי איסור, about making a neder in secular matters. And the Torah says whatever comes out of your mouth you have to do. The pasuk in Parashat Ki Teitzei where it says מוצא שפתיך תשמור, what comes what comes out of your lips you shall watch, ועשית כאשר נדרת, you shall do as you made as you vowed, that's basically talking about a neder concerning a קרבן or concerning tzedakah nowadays. This is just to categorize the types of נדרים, but the law is equal on both. We're not going to get into the detailed halachot, because this class is not a class of halacha. So we're not going to get into the details of halacha, but the general idea, the general idea is that in both cases, in other words, in all cases of נדרים, a person is obligated to keep it. If a person promises to do something, he is obligated to keep it. Not only when a person promises something to somebody else you must keep, that's what people would understand: if I promise to give someone money, I have to keep my promise because after all, I told him I would do it, so I am obligated to do it to the other person, and that would fall under category of בין אדם לחבירו, things between man and fellow man. But this is not that, we're not talking about at that stage, we're talking about being obligated to keep it because of a mitzvah, because Hashem said so, and that has nothing to do with another person. If a person takes upon himself to do something that has nothing to do with another person, he for himself will do something, or he makes upon himself not to do something, he forbids himself. Let's say a person wants to do teshuvah, whatever, and he says, \"I take upon myself never to eat meat again,\" for instance. The point is you must keep what you said. That's the halacha of neder. A person must keep the words that he promises. And the truth is not only if you use the official wording that is used when you make an official vow, an official neder, but if you use any terminology that is connected to some kind of promise, you have to keep your promise, you have to keep your words. And therefore the suggestion is people should stay away from ever using these terms. We should try to stay away from saying \"I promise to do so and so,\" because it is then very important that you keep it, and for not keeping a promise, for not keeping a neder, the punishment is very very severe. And we're not interested here in going into the the punishments that the Torah talks about, because we always try to take the positive approach, how important it is to do the right thing rather than how terrible it is to do the wrong thing. But still we have to remember that, and from time to time it's good to remember that in order to show how important it is to do the proper thing, we have to remember sometimes that if you don't, then Hashem says what's going to happen, and not because we're trying to scare anybody, but this just makes the person understand the severity of it, that's all, to see how important it is.

The Gemara says בעון נדרים בנים מתים, God forbid, for this the sin of not keeping a neder, God forbid, children die. And it says בעון נדרים אשתו מתה, it's possible, God forbid, God forbid, we don't even want to use it take it out of our mouth, but it says for a sin of not keeping nedarim, a person's God forbid wife could be punished, could die. Well, and this is because it's so strict, that's why we have to be very careful. And even if we don't use the proper wording, but if it has any connection to some kind of promise, we have to stay away from using it. And it says in sefarim that nowadays, whatever we say concerning something that we will do, we should make sure always to add the words bli neder, to make sure it's not a neder. Concerning doing a good deed, a mitzvah, there is an extra thing here. The din is that if a person does something good, obviously if that's something that you're obligated to do, because then it's you're obligated you're obligated, but if a person does something good that he's not obligated, but he does it three times, and he doesn't say clearly \"I'm doing it bli neder,\" without a neder, it has some kind of connection of being a neder, and It obligates you to do it because you did it three times. Three times is a chazakah. Three times makes it established, and therefore, if you do it, it's almost like a neder. So, you have to say bli neder. That's why the custom of many people is when they give tzedakah to an institution or something, they always give a different number. Not always the same. Because if you give the same, then it's a chazakah, and then it's almost like a neder, and it's almost like you're obligated to give. And if you don't, once don't give, then it's a question of being over, transgressing the commandment of keeping your neder, keeping your vow. So, we have to be very careful. Sometimes people are not careful, and they use words and they say, \"Well, I promise I'll do this. I promise I didn't do this. I promise I will do this. I promise I won't do this.\" You got to be very careful. Sometimes people are even less careful, and what they do is, sometimes they would say, you know, \"I promise I'll do, and if not, so I promise by my life. I promise by the life of my children,\" or things like that. That is terrible. We are not allowed to do that because if, God forbid, a person doesn't do it, it's as if you took a curse upon yourself. I'm going to tell a little, little story that happened to me, and I told it by another class. Once I got a call from a lady. She said she was traveling from South America to, I believe, someplace north. And she stopped by for a few hours here in Miami. She called me from the airport. She said she wants to come over to my house. Why? She thinks she wants to be matir neder. Wants to nullify a vow that she made. And in a moment we'll discuss the concept of nullifying the vows. If she could come over during the time she has to wait from one flight to another. I said, \"Come over.\" She came over and I called two other rabbis who are neighbors of mine, and we had three people. And this is what she told me. She said that she is from Israel, now she moved to Argentina, I think, but she is originally from Israel, and she lived downstairs and her mother-in-law, her in-laws lived upstairs. And she was very good to them. She used to help them. Once she got into an argument with her mother-in-law, a very bad argument, and she stopped talking to her. And she said, so she says, she made a neder that she should never, ever walk upstairs to her mother-in-law. And she said, \"If I ever do, I should become blind.\" And she came to my house saying she's losing her sight. Why? Because after a few months, she made up, or a month, she made up with her mother-in-law, and, you know, mother-in-law, she was friendly with her, she helped her, so she started going up. And she started losing her sight. So, she came to be matir neder. And at, in any event, this is very, very important that we should not say anything like that, we should bichlal stay away from making nedarim. We don't make nedarim. The Gemara says, anybody who makes a neder, even if he keeps it, is called a chote, is called a sinner. Anybody who makes a neder and keeps it, נקרא רשע, is called an evil person. The Gemara says anybody who makes a neder, is כאילו בנה במה, it's like you built a bamah. The din is, the halachah, law is that you could only bring a sacrifice on the altar, on the mizbeach, in the Beit HaMikdash. Before the Beit HaMikdash was built, people were allowed to build a bamah. A bamah is a private altar. Anybody could do it, anywhere you wanted, and you were allowed to build, bring sacrifices on that altar. After the Beit HaMikdash was built, that is forbidden. It's very forbidden. The punishment for it is terrible, it's a forbidden sin. So, it says anybody who makes a neder, who makes a vow, it's as if he built a במה, an altar that's forbidden. And then if a person keeps his neder, he doesn't try to get away from it halachically, not to go against it, but if he doesn't do anything to nullify it and then is obligated to keep it, it's as if he made that altar and sacrificed a sacrifice on it, which is even worse. So, it's all you have to stay away from it. What happens if a person did make a neder? If it happened, sometimes a person makes a neder for whatever reason. Then the Torah gave us a halachah which is called התרת נדרים. You can nullify a neder. And the way you nullify a neder is, you have to go to a great talmid chacham, which is a מומחה, an expert, but nowadays it says in sefarim, we don't have really people who fall under that category, so instead you have to go to a beit din. And a beit din is made up of three people, even three ordinary people. And you go to the three people, and you tell them the neder that you made, and you're asking them to nullify your neder. And that's the halachah, and they are able to. But, the only way they could do it is if you find what we call a פתח חרטה. פתח חרטה means a door of regret, which means if you are able to say that had I known at the time I made the neder that the circumstances would be as they are now, in other words, had I known then what I know now, I wouldn't have made the neder, that's enough reason for the three people, the three rabbanim or the three people, to be able to nullify it. And then they would say three times the words מותר לך, מותר לך, מותר לך, which means it is allowed, it is allowed, it is allowed. That nullifies the neder. But if that's not done, you are obligated to keep the neder. And this could take place if a person feels he made a neder, or sometimes there is a case where a person does something more than three times, a good deed, and the circumstances come that he cannot continue doing it. So what do you do then? It's like a neder. Even if you didn't say, \"I take upon myself a neder\", but as long as you didn't say bli neder, then it's almost like it's to be forced, almost like a neder. So then what you would do is go to three people and give your case. Let's say, for instance, a person gave tzedakah, a certain amount of money to a certain institution every year, every year the same way, and then there was a bad year and he can't give. So you can't just stop giving. You would have to get the three people together and tell them and say, \"Well, had I known that time that there will be a situation I won't be able to, I would have never started in a way of making it established.\" Then the three would say מותר לך, מותר לך, מותר לך. In the Chumash, we find other kinds of nullification of nedarim, which in most cases doesn't apply now. That's if a daughter under bat mitzvah makes a neder, and the father under circumstances, certain circumstances, is able to nullify that neder, or if a wife makes a neder, and under certain circumstances the husband can nullify the neder, but it's complicated and not in all cases. So the real way to do it is to be מתיר נדר. What we do generally is before Rosh Hashanah, before ראש ערב ראש השנה, we, everyone of us, all men, do the idea of התרת נדרים, because since Rosh Hashanah is coming, and it says that the sin, חס ושלום, God forbid, of not keeping a vow is terrible, and we don't want to enter the new year being judged by Hashem with having maybe, maybe certain nedarim that we didn't keep. And who remembers, who of us remembers exactly what we said and when we said it, and how many times do we mention, \"Well, I promised this and this, I promised that\", and we don't and God forbid. So what we do is on ערב ראש השנה, we in shul in the morning, we have התרת נדרים. Everyone gets up, and you have crowd, you got to have three people, the custom according to Kabbalah, different reasons, is to have a minyan, ten people sitting there, and everyone gets his chance to get up and read a certain verse, but what he's really saying is that since there are so many nedarim and I don't remember them, please, I am asking you, rabosai, my masters, my teachers, to please nullify any nedarim that I have. And then after that, when they say what they have to answer, we say, \"Now I ask you to please listen to me that I am now giving you a nullification, a proclamation, that for the coming year, I am at this moment nullifying any neder I might have made next year.\" And you're able to do that. That's called מסירת מודעה. You give before you even start. I'm able to say that if any neder that I will make during the year, already now I am saying that it should be null and void. And you're able to, and that makes takes care for next year. And next year, what we do, we do the same thing again. We nullify for the past year, even though we make already that מסירת מודעה, already nullified that we don't want, but to be sure, because it's such an important thing, to be sure we do it again, and then we say for next year. And believe it or not, this is the whole concept of Kol Nidrei. People know Kol Nidrei, the most serious moment of the year is Kol Nidrei. נעילה time, during the Yom Kippur day, and the night of Kol Nidrei. What is Kol Nidrei? People think in Kol Nidrei, those of them don't understand what it says, think in Kol Nidrei, they sing it with such heart, with such, you know, feeling, probably it talks about angels flying around and in שמים there on Yom Kippur, you know what goes on. If you read the English translation, you see all it says is that any vows and any swearing that I made for that I will make from now till the next year, so I'm asking that we should should be nullified, etc., etc. That's all it is. The reason that turned into such a serious moment, it's the beginning of Yom Kippur, so it's a serious moment anyway, but why this tefillah is so serious is because there was a period in Jewish history that this was the most serious time. The Marranos in Spain that they officially, superficially they had converted to Christianity, but hiddenly they would keep Judaism, and because of their position they would constantly have to make vows in certain things that they didn't mean, and they were afraid of that. So that's why at Kol Nidrei when you nullify all the vows for the future, to them this was the most important thing because it bothered them a whole year that they had to live this way. So, at least once a year, they felt that they were able to tell Hashem and tell the people that now we are nullifying all the vows, and therefore they felt more comfortable. That's why it's so serious. But all that it is is the nullification of the vows. But getting back to the real point that we have to remember is that whatever we do, we have to always say bli neder, and if we do something good, we have to keep in mind that whether even if we say it should bli neder. I know when the Rebbe would give money to an institution, and I saw many times checks that the Rebbe would write, he already gave the check, he would write on the side, \"This is my participation bli neder.\" A bli neder was written, I assume, number one, because the money wasn't given yet. A check is just a check, so when you give it, there's no reason to say bli neder, it's there already. But it's going to be given, I'm giving you a check so you could cash it in a day or two, so it's bli neder. But mainly, I think it was bli neder for next year, that it shouldn't, like I said, if you give it once and then the same thing will happen again and a third time, and if you give the same amount, it's going to be almost like a neder. But if you say every time bli neder, then there is no problem, and you stay away from trouble, so that's why we that's how we should do. Now, all this comes to teach us how we have to stay away from nedarim.

But let's explain the concept of why is there such a thing as nedarim that Hashem made that a person is able to forbid himself of things which he's allowed to do? What is the idea behind a neder? And before we even get to that, let me bring in that there seems to be a contradiction in the words of the חז״ל concerning nedarim. There's a contradiction. And this contradiction also seems to be not only the words of our Sages, but a contradiction in the Rambam. The Rambam, Maimonides, who brings everything in halachah, he is the main codifier of halachah, there is a contradiction in the Rambam. And I really brought this sefer to read, quote from here what the Rambam says. The Rambam says in Hilchot Nedarim, the laws of Nedarim, like this: מי שנדר נדרים, if someone makes vows, כדי לכונן דעותיו, in order to straighten out his what his his מדות, his his his attributes, ולתקן מעשיו, and to fix his actions, הרי זה זריז ומשובח, that is very good. If a person tries to make a neder in order to better himself, so therefore he knows, for instance, that he there's a certain thing that he does that he shouldn't really be doing, and he makes a neder not to do it, it's very good. כיצד, he gives an example, כגון מי שהיה זולל, if someone was a zalel, how would you say in English זולל? A glutton. ואסר עליו הבשר, and he forbid himself to eat meat, שנה או שתים, a year or two, או מי שהיה, or somebody with wine and stopped from drinking wine, כולם דרך עבודה לשם הם, this is all considered a service of Hashem. ובנדרים אלו וכיוצא בהן, and concerning such vows and similar ones, אמרו חכמים, our Sages said, נדרים סייג לפרישות. In Pirkei Avot it says, נדרים, vows are a fence to separation, separating of oneself from evil things. If you make Nedarim, that's going to keep you away from evil things. If a person will make a neder not to eat meat knowing that he's involved too much in eating meat, the Rambam says that's very good, and that's what the Chazal, Chachamim say, נדרים סייג לפרישות. In Hilchot Deot, which is in a different place, the Rambam writes like this: ציוו חכמים, the חכמים commanded, שלא ימנע אדם עצמו, a person should not keep him, a person should not keep himself away, only מדברים שמנעתו התורה בלבד, only things that the תורה told him to stay away from. כך אמרו חכמים, this is what the חכמים said: לא דייך מה שאסרה תורה, it's not enough what the תורה forbid, אלא שאתה אוסר עליך דברים אחרים, you would rather go and forbid more things? So the Rambam says clearly, taking also from the Chazal, from the Chachamim, from the Gemara, that a person should not, it's not proper for a person to stay away from things which he's allowed. So this seems to be a contradiction. Here the Rambam says, and taking from the chachamim, from the Pirkei Avot, that it's a good idea to to make nedarim. נדרים סייג לפרישות, נדרים is a fence to stay away from things which you're not allowed to do. And here it says that a person should not do that. Actually, we see in other cases, too. One specific type of neder is a nazir. We don't do things like that nowadays, but there is a halachah of a nazir. What's a nazir? A person who takes upon himself a neder, a vow, not to drink wine, or not allowed to cut his hair, he's not allowed to become tamei, impure, to a dead body, that's a nazir. Now, when a nazir is finished with his nazirut, let's say he takes upon himself to be a nazir 30 days, or a year, whatever it is, when he finishes with his nazirut, he has to bring certain sacrifices. That's why nowadays we can't be a nazir, because we cannot bring the sacrifices when we're finished. But there are sacrifices. Now, among the sacrifices, we have different kinds. We have all kinds. We have an olah, a shelamim, a chatat, an asham. Now, certain sacrifices are sacrifices that are like a present to Hashem, present to God. A chatat is a sacrifice that you bring for a sin. That's called a sin offering. A chatat is a sin offering. One of the sacrifices the nazir has to bring when he's finished with his nazirut is a chatat, is a sin offering. And the question the Gemara asks: what did he do wrong that he has to bring a chatat? A chatat is brought for an aveirah, for a sin. He didn't do anything wrong! And the Gemara says, yes, he did! שהזיר עצמו מן היין, that since he took himself away from wine, he stayed away from wine, that's a sin. Hashem said you're allowed to drink wine, and he came and said, \"No, I forbid myself from drinking wine,\" which automatically made it he must keep that vow and he's not allowed to drink the wine. So for that, he has to bring a korban chatat. So here we see that the Torah has like a contradiction. On one hand, we consider it a sin. On the other hand, it always seemed that a nazir is a very good idea. Who was a nazir? Great people were nezirim. Shmuel HaNavi was a nazir, right? Other? Shimshon was a nazir. And a nazir was always considered a very special person. The Gemara says, why did the Torah write the laws of a nazir, the parsha of a נזיר, right next to the parsha of a סוטה? סוטה tells us the whole parsha of a סוטה woman was unfaithful, at least we don't know, we suspect her, the husband warned her, etc., etc. We have to bring her to the בית המקדש, and we have to give her certain water to drink, etc., etc., and then we depend, that will prove whether she's innocent or guilty, etc. Right after that the Torah speaks about the נזיר. And the rabbis tell us, Rashi brings it, why did the Torah connect the two? To teach us that if someone sees what happens to a סוטה, and many times a lot of these troubles come from drinking, so if a person sees what happens to her, stay away from wine! Make Make yourself into a נזיר. So obviously the Torah is giving us good advice to become a נזיר. And at the same time, the Torah at the end says, you know, you have to bring a chatas for being a נזיר, for staying away from wine. How do we answer this contradiction? The answer is it depends in what level the person is. And I'll explain it. Hashem created a world, we know that, created everything that's in it, put us into this world, us Yidden, and He gave us a mission. What is our mission? Our mission is one thing and that's all. All the mitzvot and Torah and everything that we do is all to fulfill one mission, and that mission the Midrash says is נתאוה הקדוש ברוך הוא להיות לו יתברך דירה בתחתונים. Hashem desired to have a dwelling place in this low physical world. Why He wanted it, we don't know. We'll never know, it's impossible to know. So we don't know why, but we know what. He wanted us to make this low physical world into a holy place. And everything that was created in this world was for that purpose. Hashem created this world, and all the physical objects that are here were created for a purpose, that we Jews should elevate it all and bring it higher, make it holy, bring it closer to God. So Hashem created a world with physical objects which cover up on the truth of God, which is these are physical objects and they don't reveal the truth of God, and He gave us a mission that we have to reveal the truth. How do we reveal the truth in the world? Well, first and foremost, by doing mitzvot, so we take a pair of tefillin, which is a physical thing, and we use it for a mitzvah, then we elevate it. We take money and we give tzedakah with it, we elevate that money, so that money is being utilized for a holy purpose. So that is fulfilling the reason for creation. But not only when we do a mitzvah we will fulfill the desire of God. Even when we're not involved in a mitzvah, we also have this obligation. When we take a drink of water, it's no mitzvah to drink the water. Sometimes it's a mitzvah to drink certain liquids: you make kiddush, it's a mitzvah, to drink the four cups of wine on Pesach is a mitzvah, but to drink a cup of water, no, it's not a mitzvah. That's what we call a דבר הרשות. It's a selective matter, you could do it if you want, not, not. God wants us to elevate this cup of water to a higher level, to make it Godly. Now how do we do that? Well, depends how we drink it. If we make a bracha before we drink it, and we make a bracha acharonah after we finish drinking it, and when we drink it, we make sure, first of all, it's kasher, and then we drink it in the proper way. When a person goes to work, if the person works because he wants to have a lot of money so he'll be able to buy nice things and be able to show off or whatever reason, then that is not serving God. But if a person goes to work so he should make a lot of money so he should have enough money to give tzedakah, he should make a lot of money so he should be able to give his children a good Jewish education, he have a lot of money so that he should make a kiddush Hashem in any way, then the those intentions sanctify his work. So when you eat and drink and sleep, whatever you do with the physical part of the world, our mission is to elevate it all to Hashem. Our mission will not be complete if we stay away from it. A person will say, \"Oh, I'd rather, since I have a desire to do it and that would be that would mean I'm giving in to my bodily desire, I'd rather not do it,\" that's not fulfilling the mission of God. What God wants is do it, but do it in the right way. Now what happens if a person is not at that level yet? If a person is not at a level that he is able to elevate the physical object, whether it's the food or the money, whatever it is, then what should he do? Then we say to this person, then stay away from it. Stay away from it, because you never know: if you give in to your bodily desires even in things which are permitted, you'll never know. The next step is, you might do something which is forbidden. If you eat something just because it tastes good and your body likes it, what happens tomorrow if you'll smell a piece of non-kasher food and it smells good and it tastes good too, and you got used to giving in to your bodily desire, so God forbid, tomorrow you might transgress and eat something that's forbidden. So the best thing is to do, what to do is stay away. That's what the Mishnah means, and that's what the Rambam means when he says anybody who makes a neder for this purpose to say to himself, \"I'm going to stay away from these things, I'm going to stay away,\" gives an example, from meat, because he sees that when he eats meat, he's a glutton, the meat is lowering him, so then says stay away, that's good. That's what it means נדרים סייג לפרישות. You make a neder, that's a fence to stay away from forbidden things. Because if you don't stay away from it, not only don't you elevate the food, let's say in this case using the example of the meat, but the meat that you will eat will lower you. The more a person is involved in physical things, the more physical he becomes, and this lowers his spiritual level to make it even more coarse. I don't mean physical coarse, I mean, in Yiddish the expression is grob, but it doesn't mean fat, it means not refined. It makes you worse and worse, because you're involved in giving into your bodily desires. So therefore, Hashem made the concept of nedarim, that if you make a neder, because sometimes a person is not at a level that he is able to stay away from it without making a neder, because if you don't make a a neder, everyone knows that if you make a neder, since it's so strict, you'll keep it, but just to stay away from it and then you'll come to a party and there'll be such good food, you won't be able to stay away from it. So that's why there's a din: make a neder, and the neder will be the seig, the fence for perishut. Tell a joke that once there was a person went to a doctor, and the doctor checked him out and said, \"You know, you're drinking too much, and alcoholic, and that's getting you sick, so you better stop drinking.\" But he couldn't stop himself just from drinking. So he went to the rabbi, said, \"Rabbi, what do I do?\" So the rabbi says to him, \"You know what? Make a neder that you won't drink, then you know you won't drink.\" So he made a neder, and that held him back from drinking. And he still didn't feel better. He started feeling worse. Came back to the doctor, and he said to the doctor, \"Doctor, I'm feeling worse.\" He checked him out and said, \"Your body got so used to drinking, by not drinking it's even worse. You'll have to start drinking again.\" Said, \"Oy vey, I made a neder. What am I going to do now?\" He goes back to the rabbi, he says to the rabbi—this is just a joke—he comes to the rabbi and says, \"Rabbi, what do I do? I have to drink.\" So the rabbi said, \"Well, you made a neder that you won't drink, but I have an eitzah: let someone hold your hand, let two people hold you down, and one guy will pour it down your throat, that you won't transgress anything.\" So he says, \"Rabbi, in that case, let one guy hold me and two guys pour.\" But anyway, this is just a joke. The idea is that when you make a neder, then it'll hold you back from doing it. So that's why the Torah gave the concept of nedarim. But that is only because this person we're talking about is in a low level. The ultimate level a person should reach is that he should not make nedarim. And like the Rambam quotes from the other place in the Gemara: \"לא דייך מה שאסרה תורה,\" is that not enough what the Torah said you're not allowed, and you're osering things? No, you have to do you have to not forbid yourself. You have to be able to drink wine, and you have to do everything, and you have to elevate it. And that's why a nazir, to use as an example of a neder, has both sides: on one hand, it says an advice, if you see something like that happen and you feel, God forbid, who knows what could happen to you, make yourself into a nazir, stay away from the wine. But at the same time, you have to bring a קרבן חטאת, because really you should have been of a at a level that you should be able to drink wine and elevate the wine. And that's a higher level. So the person who doesn't do it is in a lower level. That's why sometimes we don't know a person to judge which level he belongs. They always tell the story that there was once in a meeting where the Frierdiker Rebbe was sitting and they were discussing serious matters, and they were serving tea. And one person only drank, out of respect I guess, a half of the cup. So somebody quietly said to him, \"Why don't you finish your cup of tea? Don't you realize that this half is jealous of the other half?\" The Frierdiker Rebbe overheard him, and he turned around, he said, \"We've got to see if this half is jealous of the other half or maybe the other half is jealous of this half. Because if he is in a level of being able to elevate it, so then the part that he drank was elevated. It reached its goal. The purpose of its creation was accomplished, that it was elevated by a Jew drinking it for a good purpose. Now this half that didn't drink is jealous: 'Why didn't you drink me? Why didn't you do the same thing to me?' But if he is in the other level, then the half that he drank was not l'shem shamayim, then not only didn't he elevate it, but he lowered it, he lowered himself with it, and it became even worse. So now the other half is jealous of this half: 'Why did you drink me? You should have left me in your cup and not touch me.'\" So it depends on these two levels. So the ultimate level is not to make nedarim. This is the reason why there is this concept of התרת נדרים, that there is this concept of being able to nullify a vow. Spiritually said, according to Kabbalah, what is the meaning of התרת נדרים? Hashem gave the power to this expert rabbi or to the בית דין that they are able to elevate the person to a higher level. The person who makes the vow means that he is a person that's in a low level, and in his circumstances, it was good for him. But you come to nullify the vow, meaning you come to be elevated to a point that you don't need that neder. You come to be elevated to a point that you are able to have use, make use of all these physical things, and nevertheless, it will not lower you, but you will elevate it and you will fulfill the goal why this was created. And it's interesting that we see when did Hashem tell the Jews this concept of התרת נדרים, of nullifying the ability of nullifying the vows? As I said before, this is in פרשת מטות. פרשת מטות was said to the Jews in the desert not long before they entered into the land of Israel, to ארץ ישראל. They were in the desert for forty years. פרשת מטות was said in the fortieth year, already towards the end, right before they entered ארץ ישראל. And the reason Hashem told it to them, this to them then, because then this idea of what התרת נדרים stands for, of the nullification of the vows stands for, was the lesson they were supposed to take upon entering ארץ ישראל. Now, I'll explain what I mean. The difference between the Jewish, the life, the lives of the Jews while they were in the desert and the lives of the Jews later on when they entered ארץ ישראל is, when they were in the desert, they were not involved in physical matters at all. They didn't work. They didn't have to do anything physical. They didn't have to plow and plant and do anything. What they did was they sat and studied Torah all day, davened and learned. They didn't have to work to get food. The מן came down from heaven. They didn't even have to work to make clothes, because the clothes grew on them. As the children grew, the clothes grew together with the children. It says that they didn't even have to clean the clothes. The clouds that were there would clean the clothes for them. So what were they busy all day with? Only with spiritual matters. They didn't get involved in physical matters at all. On the other hand, when they went into ארץ ישראל, there, things changed completely. No more מן מן השמים, no more מן from heaven, no more cleaning of the clothes by the clouds. They had to plow and plant and work hard to make a living, and most of their time was spent in the fields. Most of the time was spent getting involved in physical matters. Which is, by the way, the reason, as we learned many times according to Chasidus and Kabbalah, why the spies, the 10 spies that came back and spoke lashon hara against ארץ ישראל, hoping they wouldn't go into ארץ ישראל, and they weren't such terrible people to begin with, they were tzadikim, because they felt, who needs this? Why should we go into ארץ ישראל and lower ourselves to get involved in physical matters? Let's stay in the desert and we'll be tzadikim all our lives, the whole time. We will serve God. But it was a mistake. That's not what God wanted, like I said before. God created the world so we should use the world. If He would want us to stay away from the world, know what He would do? He would make us like malachim, like angels. Angels are not in this world, and He has plenty of angels up there. Why did He make us get, put us here? To work with the world. We needed a preparation beforehand to be in the desert for a while, but that's not the goal. So when the Jews went, came into ארץ ישראל, that's when there, what we would call סדר העבודה, their style of serving God started, to get more involved in the gashmiyut and elevate it, not staying away from it as it was before. And that's why, before they entered ארץ ישראל, השם gave them not only the laws of nedarim that you're able to make vows, and the mitzvah that you have to keep it, but the main thing He gave them was the laws of התרת נדרים, to nullify the vows. That means to show them that the main goal is not to have vows, not to stay away, refrain from the gashmiyut, but to get involved in the physical matters and elevate all these physical matters. And by the way, this is a fundamental concept in the whole דרך החסידות, the direction of Chasidus, and of the Torah of the Baal Shem Tov. Before the Baal Shem Tov, many people were of the opinion that in order to be sure that you are close to God, you have to fight with the gashmiyut, fight with the physical world, fight with your own body. They would fast a lot, do all kinds of of סיגופים we call it, they would afflict themselves with all kinds of pain, and by doing that, they would feel that their body should not disturb them from serving God. Came the Baal Shem Tov and said, that is not the right way. What we have to do is work together with the body. And it's interesting, he quoted, he explained a certain pasuk, and it's a famous, one of the most, most famous sayings of the Baal Shem Tov. The pasuk says in פרשת משפטים a few weeks ago, כי תראה חמור שנאך רבץ תחת משאו, I'll first translate it simply. If you will see the donkey of your enemy lying under its load, וחדלת מעזב לו, you might think you'll hold yourself back from helping him? No. עזב תעזב עמו, you have to help with him. So the Baal Shem Tov said, he translated these words differently. He said like this: כי תראה, when you will see, in other words, when you will look, you will realize, חמור, the word חמור means donkey, but it also means חומר, means material, physical things, tangible things, the חומריות. So when you will look, you'll see that חמור, the חומר, שנאך, is your enemy. The body, all physical things is our enemy, our goal, our purpose, our mission is to serve God, and all this disturbs us from serving God. It's our enemy. רבץ תחת משאו, it's all laying under its load. There is a load God gave us, and for some reason our body, the physical part of ourselves is laying under it, and is not able to carry the load. So, one might think, וחדלת מעזב לו, you'll stop from helping it. What's the best idea? Don't help your body. Ruin your body. Fast. Afflict pain to your body, so your body won't lie under its load, and it will allow your neshamah to do what it's supposed to. The pasuk says no, עזב תעזב עמו, help with him together. You got to work with your body. You got to give help to your body, but make sure that the body will serve God. That means not to refrain from all the גשמיותדיקה things, but we have to elevate it. But again, if a person is not at that level, then you are you can't do it yet. But we have to know that the goal is to reach the level of being able to elevate everything that that that Hashem gave us, all the גשמיותדיקה things that Hashem gave us. When Mashiach will come, that's when we will actually see the truth within the גשמיות, because in truth, since like we said before, we know Hashem created the world, so all the physical things in the world are all really only an expression of Hashem's will. But the way it seems is that blocks our service of God. Through us working with the גשמיות and elevating the גשמיות, when Mashiach will come, we will truly see that the גשמיות is really not an entity in itself which fights godliness, but in truth the גשמיות, the physicality, is a creation of God and is an expression of God's will. Now we don't see it, but when Mashiach will come, we will see it. But in order for us to see it, we have to work along those lines now, that we now have to utilize the גשמיות for the service of God. And if we do that, Hashem says then I will make you see the truth. And when Mashiach will come, it says עין בעין יראו, we will see with our own eyes, וראו כל בשר יחדו, the flesh is going to see כי פי השם דיבר, that Hashem spoke and everything comes from Hashem, and then we will not have to fight the גשמיות. The גשמיות itself will reveal the truth of Hashem and will help us serve Hashem, and then our service of Hashem will be to the highest levels. And we hope and we are pray and we are sure that all this is going to happen very, very soon, במהרה בימינו. Yes?

The thing is, sometimes there are nedarim which will not fall under that category. If you ever looked into the wording of התרת נדרים ערב ראש השנה, we say that, \"רבותי, I'm asking you to nullify my nedarim, and I'm not asking you to nullify those נדרים which cannot be nullified.\" In other words, there are certain ones that cannot be nullified. I don't want to go into the halachot of it, but there are נדרים that cannot be nullified. Depends how you say it and certain things. So, we take all precautions, all. We say it once, and we say it for next year, and next year we say for the past year even though we said it already last year for this year. Really, we should do it once in two years. Now we say for next year, and next year or we say next year we should say for the next year, or once a year, but you don't have to say twice, and then we say כל נדרי, and then every time something comes up we try to be misaneh that. We try to take all precautions because nedarim are very, very strict. U'vichlal, I want to mention at the same time, that we have to be very careful not only with nedarim, but bichlal with everything that we say. The words that come out of a person's mouth are very important. They're picked up by the angels, they're picked up by, God forbid, the bad angels, by the satan. Words have an effect. There's a pasuk that says אל תפתח פה לשטן, \"Don't open your mouth to prosecute.\" Don't say anything. Don't say to somebody you know, like people are used to saying, \"Oh, go here, go there.\" You know, the expressions that people say, curses that people might say, or even for yourself. You don't say it. You don't say to I mentioned this many times, you don't say to a child, \"Be careful, don't be careful when you cross the street. You could get hurt by a car.\" Don't say that. Say, \"Be careful not to get hurt by a car.\" But don't say, \"You could get hurt by a car,\" or don't say, \"You're going to fall down the steps! Watch yourself!\" Don't say that. We should be very careful which words we use, because words have a very strong effect, stronger than we imagine. We know words of a tzadik are very, very powerful, but words of every single Jew are powerful. So we have to be very careful what we say. Certainly if we say it in the form of a neder, and even if we, like I said before and I'm repeating it again because it's important, even if we don't use the official expressions of a neder, but we use like the word I promise, which is not an official expression of a neder, I don't say I make a neder, I promise, I definitely will do this. First of all, if you say that, then since you are then basically obligated to do it, the yetzer hara will try to stop you. That could be guaranteed. If you wouldn't use that term, the yetzer hara doesn't care. There's no obligation to do it, so he won't. But if you use, the Gemara said it, the Gemara says if you say that tomorrow I make up my mind for sure I'm going to learn so much, the yetzer hara will make sure that you won't learn that much, and then you have a hard time. So we should stay away from using these words. It says a person shouldn't even say tomorrow I'm definitely going to come to you to learn. You say bli neder I'm coming definitely to you to learn. Im yirtzeh Hashem, okay, but im yirtzeh Hashem is not enough because im yirtzeh Hashem means if Hashem wants. We're talking about coming to learn, Hashem certainly wants, there's no question about it. But you say bli neder, everything you say bli neder, then then then it's it we're taken care of. So we have to be very careful what we say. Yes? Why if couldn't you say at the end of tomorrow I come to study with you, God willing? So I said im yirtzeh Hashem means God willing. But like I said, to study God wants for sure. So the best way to do it is to say bli neder. When you say bli neder, then it's taken care of. Yes? Is that the same dealing too when you're dealing with a business? Yes, because this is not בין אדם לחבירו. This is not because you're going to cheat somebody or hurt somebody. It's בין אדם למקום, it's because of Hashem. Say that, so tell him it's a blessing or something. Yes? When you mentioned about giving like a certain amount, you give $10 every year to a particular tzedakah and the next year you want to give more money, but you're still giving that already That's already because you did, yeah. To give more is no problem. But if you give less, yes, then you would need hatarat nedarim, or lechatchilah you make sure you say bli neder and there's no problem. That's only if you give the exact same amount each time? That's for the amount problem, that that you give it, that itself is So if you say once and for all that whatever I give to any place, I'm saying now I'm מוסר מודעה, it's always bli neder, then it's okay, but we have to keep that in mind. Yes? The does not describe Shimshon as מושבע ועומד מהר סיני? No? Well he is. So if we're saying that the purpose of nezirus is to keep the person who's at a lower level away from sin, then why did Shmuel have to be involved as a nazir the rest of his life? There is another level of nazir which is not in the regular level, and that's a level of extra kedushah that a person might have. And that's like you do find great tzadikim who used to fast, how they should work with gashmiyut. But that's not on our level. There is a level of nezirut which is from a higher level, על פי קבלה it's a higher level, but that's that will be the level of Shmuel. Most nezirim were not like that. There is such a thing, but that's not common. Yes? If I borrow money and promise to pay back Oh, you have to pay back anyway, that has nothing to do with the promise. Then does that remove from this condition that you have to pay it back? Right, anything you have to do anyway, there's nothing to talk about. So then I should not say bli neder? You could say it, it doesn't help. You're still obligated! But if you make a certain time, if the person really wants, and you're going to say bli neder, but you still have to keep it because you told him you'll do it, but as far as a neder is concerned, it won't be. It's still good to say bli neder. Okay. Yes? A little unrelated, but maybe you could say a couple of words about Tonight is ז' אדר. And that's of course the fact that he's not Okay, just to take a moment, even though it's not related, but tonight is ז' אדר. So just to say a few words about ז' אדר, ז' אדר is the yahrzeit and the birth of Moshe Rabbeinu. Now people usually look at ז' אדר as the yahrzeit of Moshe Rabbeinu, but in truth it was also his birthday, and that is probably more important to us than his yahrzeit. We find in the Gemara Concerning Haman, when Haman threw the lots when he should... Oh, they're practicing. When when he should, חס ושלום, להשמיד ולהרוג, to kill the Jews, and it came from month to month, finally when it came and it fell on the month of אדר, he said, he was very happy, he said, \"This is a very unlucky month for the Jews because it's the month that their leader Moshe Rabbeinu died.\" But the Gemara says, but he didn't know that Moshe Rabbeinu died in אדר and Moshe Rabbeinu was born in אדר. And Rashi says, Rashi in the Gemara says, כדאי הוא הלידה שתכפר על המיתה, his birth is worth that it should forgive, it should outweigh the fact that he died, because Moshe Rabbeinu when he was born, even though normally we know that when a person is born, it says in a pasuk that when a person is born, the simcha is not so great, why? Because you don't know what kind of person he will be. When a person dies and he was a tzadik, let's say, then it's a happy day, a day that's a special, they have a special day because you know this tzadik who lived the life of a tzadik died, but the day he's born you don't know what's going to happen. But that doesn't apply to Moshe Rabbeinu. Because by Moshe Rabbeinu it says that ותרא אותו כי טוב הוא, that the moment he was born she saw that he was good, and Rashi says, what does that mean? נתמלא הבית כולו אורה, the whole house lit up just from Moshe Rabbeinu's birth, because Moshe Rabbeinu from his birth already was destined to be the Moshe Rabbeinu, the greatest tzadik, so therefore his birth is different than the birth of other people, of regular people, and therefore his birth was mechaper for the מיתה, for the death, the day that is his yahrzeit. And from him we learn out by every person that the day of a birthday is a very special day, because even though by him it was seen already, but by every Jew the potential of a yid to live the life the way a Jew is supposed to live already starts from the day you're born. You don't see it, and a person has free choice, but the potential is there, and that's why in our circles, even though some circles don't do that, but in our circles we celebrate a birthday, and some people claim, well, it's a goyishe thing to celebrate a birthday, it says in Chumash יום הולדת את פרעה, Pharaoh celebrated a birthday, and they have all kinds of things, but when you look in sefarim you see that it's not so, and the reason is because that's the day the person's neshama came down to this world, that's the day the person started his mission, that's the day the mission was given to him, so all the kochot, all the strength and power that Hashem gives a person was given on that day, so that's what we celebrate. By Moshe Rabbeinu, his mission was so great to take the Jews out of Mitzrayim, to give the Torah, certainly it is a special day. And that's why even though by some people ז' אדר is a fast day, on the other hand, ז' אדר also is a happy day, the day that Moshe Rabbeinu was born. And we hope that very soon we will see Moshe Rabbeinu again because it says משה הוא גואל ראשון משה הוא גואל אחרון, that is Moshe Rabbeinu and Mashiach are very, very closely connected, that's why when Moshe Rabbeinu was sent by Hashem to take the Jews out of Mitzrayim, he said שלח נא ביד תשלח, send with somebody else, so the Midrash says, whom did he mean? He said Mashiach, who else did he mean? And the truth is Hashem sent Moshe, but obviously they're connected, so very, very soon we will see Moshe Rabbeinu again together with משיח במהרה בימינו. Amen.