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HALACHA, HASHKAFA AND PARENTING

Why You Shouldn't Sleep Alone

Why You Shouldn't Sleep Alone

Part of Halacha, Hashkafa and Parenting · 14:39

A short piece on minyan attendance, giving charity as a way to influence one's fortune, and the halachic concern about sleeping alone (Lilith).

Audio Transcript
Minyan Attendance Issues and Scheduling

Everybody's having a hard time with the 诪谞讬谉. Hope tomorrow we won't have. Why? They don't have a 诪谞讬谉 here at 7:00? No, yeah, same, but still. 7:00 there was five people, and then... Construction? Huh? Is it construction? No. Traffic was fantastic, guys. Fantastic, good fellows. Okay, the last thing that we learned here was, one of the things at the end, is that he said to him, Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar said you should do tzedakah as long as you can, meaning when there are still poor people around, because Mashiach will come, you won't have poor people. No. I mean by Shlomo HaMelech. No, that's something else. We're talking about what Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar said. And do it as long as you have money, and do it as long as, as, as before you die, as long as you're able to. And it says that Shmuel holds that even when Mashiach will come, there will be poor people. So there was a machloket here. So Tanya, we're holding in 拽状讟. Tanya we learned: 专讘讬 讗诇注讝专 讛拽驻专 讗讜诪专, 专讘讬 讗诇注讝专 讛拽驻专 says: 诇注讜诇诐 讬讘拽砖 讗讚诐 专讞诪讬诐 注诇 诪讚讛 讝讜, should always ask the Eibershter for this, that you shouldn't have poverty in your family. 砖讗诐 讛讜讗 诇讗 讬讘讗, if it's not going to come to you, 讬讘讗, 讬讘讗 讘谞讜, his son will come with it. 讗诐 讘谞讜 诇讗 讬讘讗, 讬讘讗 讘谉 讘谞讜, your grandson might have it. 谞讗诪专, it says, 讻讬 讘讙诇诇 讛讚讘专 讛讝讛, speaks about tzedakah, it says because of this you should give tzedakah, always poor people. But the word 讘讙诇诇, 转谞讗 讚讘讬 专讘讬 讬砖诪注讗诇, and Rabbi Yishmael taught, 讘讙诇诇 comes from the word 讙诇讙诇. 讙诇讙诇 讛讜讗 砖讞讜讝专 讘注讜诇诐, it's like a wheel. It's a wheel of fortune. So eventually you could be rich and then eventually become poor, so you got to always daven for this, that you shouldn't be poor, because it's definitely sometimes going to happen to you, to your son, to your grandson, so you should daven for it. 讚讗住 讗讬讝 讗 讬讬讚讬砖注 讜讜注专讟诇: 讙注诇讟 讗讬讝 拽讬讬诇注讻讚讬拽. 讬讗, 讬讬讚讬砖注 讜讜注专讟诇... It's what? What's that? Money is round. Oh, round. That's Napoleon, he said it would be, but a Yid should be rich. Why shouldn't a Yid be rich? 讗诇注 讬讬讚谉 讝讗诇谉 讝讬讬谉 专讬讬讱. It says: 讛讝讛专讜 讘讘谞讬 注谞讬讬诐 砖诪讛诐 转爪讗 转讜专讛. But you could have 转讜专讛 讜讙讚讜诇讛 讘诪拽讜诐 讗讞讚, you could have, you could have Torah, yeah, you could have it. 讗诇注 讬讬讚谉 讝讗诇谉 讝讬讬谉 专讬讬讱. The Kotzker was very... people came dressed in fancy, I don't know if he did it, but the Chasidim would tear off the fancy clothes from them. Yeah, if they would come to join his... The she'eilah is you could have money and not 诇讬讙谉 讗讬谉 讙砖诪讬讜转. The vort is to lig, involved in gashmiyut, that's what's no good. But to be rich, Rebbe was so rich, Rabbi said... like 谞讛谞讬转讬 诪讝讛, 谞讛谞讬转讬 诪注讜诇诐 讛讝讛 讗驻讬诇讜 讘讗爪讘注 拽讟谞讛, he was the richest person. He said, \"I didn't have any hana'ah from the 注讜诇诐 讛讝讛 even like a finger, like an 讗爪讘注 拽讟谞讛.\" Whatever the true that Rav Leibel Eiger, did he, fancy clothes... He did, but he was... and even if he ate the good food, it says, Rabbi and Antoninus never was the, 爪谞讜谉 讜讞讝专转 they always had the most fanciest food on the table, but he didn't have hana'ah from it, everything was 注讘讜讚转 讛砖诐.

Influencing the Wheel: Prayer and Good Deeds

Can a person influence the 讙诇讙诇? Huh? Can a person stop the 讙诇讙诇, can he influence it? Oh, yeah, you could ask the Aibershter, sure, you could daven, you can do 诪注砖讬诐 讟讜讘讬诐. Through tefillah and tzedakah. Tefillah, yeah, aveirah... you could, but you got to daven for it. So he's saying daven for it! It's a 讙诇讙诇, so it's very possible that it'll come, so you always got to daven. You can't say, \"Well, I'm sure that's not going to happen.\" It's not, you can't be sure, but if you daven, indeed. How to stop the ball rolling? Where did Rav Leibel Eiger go to learn Chassidus? To the Kotzker. By the Kotzker, they tore off all his fancy clothes, and his mother-in-law said, \"You want to stay, now you can stay.\" Meantime, this is the first step, if you want to be a... Yeah, many stories with him. 讗诪专 专讘 讬讜住祝, Rav Yosef said: 谞拽讟讬谞谉 讛讗讬 爪讜专讘讗 诪专讘谞谉 诇讗 诪讬转注谞讬. We have a klal that a talmid chacham doesn't become poor. The Gemara asks: What? 讜讛讗 拽讗 讞讝讬谞谉 讚诪讬转注谞讬! We see that they are poor! So he says that 讗讬谉, 讗讬 住讘专讬 讚诪讬转注谞讬, even if he becomes poor, 讗讛讚讜专讬 讗驻讬转讞讗 诇讗 诪讛讚专. The Aibershter doesn't allow that he should have to go collecting. Could be poor and, but to reach a level of being poor to have to go around collecting tzedakah, that's a real embarrassment, bizayon, and that the Aibershter doesn't want. 讗诪专 诇讬讛 专讘 讞住讚讗 诇专讘讗... How does a talmid chacham really live? If they're, if they're learning 20 hours a day, 24 hours... Wives worked, or they worked a little bit. They were. Rabbi Yochanan Hasandlar was a shoemaker, Rabbi Yitzchak Nafcha was a blacksmith, and they had businesses. Yeah, and the Chafetz Chaim made his wife close the store when they start to have too many customers, \"You better close the store.\" Oh, because all he wanted was enough to live on, didn't need any extra. He said it was a zechut to go door to door to collect for others, in order that you wouldn't... For others, yeah, but it's a bizayon to go to collect for yourself.

Rabbi Chaya on Giving to the Poor

讗诪专 诇讬讛 专讘讬 讞讬讬讗 诇讚讘讬转讬讛, 专讘讬 讞讬讬讗 said to his wife, 讻讬 讗转讗 注谞讬讗, if a poor man comes, 讗拽讚讬诐 诇讬讛 专讬驻转讗, give him right away give him food to eat, bread, 讻讬 讛讬讻讬 讚诇拽讚诪讜 诇讘谞讬讱. You do that, our children will have the zechut and that they'll give them too. 讗诪专讛 诇讬讛, she said to him, 诪讬诇讟 拽诇讬讬讟, what are you cursing them? As if saying as if saying, \"Your children, children will have to go beg?\" 讗诪专 诇讛, he said, 拽专讗 讻转讬讘, there is a pasuk it says, 讻讬 讘讙诇诇 讛讚讘专 讛讝讛. That because of this. 讜转谞讗 讚讘讬 专讘讬 讬砖诪注讗诇, that says, 讙诇讙诇 讛讜讗 砖讞讜讝专 讘注讜诇诐, it's a 讙诇讙诇. So, sometimes the children the sometimes it's going to have to happen. So, if you'll have the zechut that you give him, so then when the children if when it comes to this time, so then they'll also give them. 转谞讬讗, it says in a 讘专讬讬转讗, 专讘谉 讙诪诇讬讗诇 讘专讘讬 讗讜诪专, 专讘谉 讙诪诇讬讗诇 讘专讘讬 says, 讜谞转谉 诇讱 专讞诪讬诐 讜专讞诪讱 讜讛专讘讱. The Eibishter will give you rachamim and have rachmanut on you. Double-talk, if he'll give you rachamim, then he'll have rachmanut, why does that to say 讜谞转谉 专讞诪讬诐 讜专讞诪讱? To teach you, it goes the opposite, 讻诇 讛诪专讞诐 注诇 讛讘专讬讜转, if you whoever has rachmanut on people, 诪专讞诪讬谉 注诇讬讜 诪谉 讛砖诪讬诐. So, the Eibishter, so it's double. So, if you give rachamim to other people, you'll get rachamim from the Eibishter. 讘专讬讜转 goes on animals too, no? Huh? 专讞诪讬诐 注诇 讛讘专讬讜转 goes on animals, not just people, no? Okay. 讞讜诇讜 注诇讬讜 诪谉 讛砖诪讬诐, yeah. 转谞讬讗 says, what's the peshat? That you'd 讗讛讘转 讛讘专讬讜转, says even people who have no ma'alot, the only ma'alah is that they're created by the Eibishter. Not chachamim, they're stupid, they're everything. Well, that's a big thing, they're created? There's the only thing they have, and still then you have to love. So, anybody who has rachmanut on the 讘专讬讜转 has the Eibishter have 专讞诪谞讜转 诪谉 讛砖诪讬诐. 讜讻诇 砖讗讬谞讜 诪专讞诐 注诇 讛讘专讬讜转, whoever doesn't have 专讞诪谞讜转, 讗讬谉 诪专讞诪讬谉 注诇讬讜 诪谉 讛砖诪讬诐. They won't have rachmanut. In other words, everything works 诪讚讛 讻谞讙讚 诪讚讛. If you have rachmanut, the Eibishter will have rachmanut. If you give tzedakah, the Eibishter will give you tzedakah, and for the Eibishter we need tzedakah. I mean, no one deserves anything. It's all tzedakah. And that's a famous taytsh in the vort from from Yirmiyahu. I think it's a Kotzker vort, I don't know, that Yirmiyahu says so they threw him in the pit the bad people threw him into a pit. Later when he got out, he asked the Eibishter, \"Please.\" So the Gemara says in Bava Batra, he asked the Eibishter, \"Please, 讛讻砖讬诇诐 讘注谞讬讬诐 砖讗讬谞诐 诪讛讜讙谞讬诐.\" That make sure that even when they do tzedakah these people, they should give it to to poor people who don't deserve it, who are not good. Such He has a kashya, Yirmiyahu is like angry at them, but it's asking the Eibishter to be machshil them? He says, \"No, far-kert. He asked the Eibishter the Eibishter shouldn't punish them for what they did to him. He begged the Eibishter. So, he says if they're going to give to 注谞讬讬诐 that don't deserve it, the Eibishter will be good to them even though they don't deserve it. So, he was asking far-kert for the for their benefit. That's, yeah, that's the briyot, in today's Tanya, the word briyot. That's a peshat that I was told when I went down Oh, so now you now you know the real peshat. Now you know the real peshat. Yeah. This is a this is the real peshat. Yeah, yeah. But that's what he says, who to love? 讗驻讬诇讜 讚讘专讬 讛讘讟谉, those who are nothing but creatures of the Eibishter. Even them, you have to love. 讝讗讙讟 讚讬 讙诪专讗, 转谞讬讗, it stands in a beraita, Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel 讗讜诪专, Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel says, 转讬谞讜拽 讘谉 讬讜诪讜, we have a child a day old. If 讞讬, if it's still alive, 诪讞诇诇讬谉 注诇讬讜 讗转 讛砖讘转, you're allowed to be 诪讞诇诇 砖讘转 to save the life. Cuz 讗诪专讛 转讜专讛, the Torah says, 讞诇诇 注诇讬讜 砖讘转 讗讞讚, you should be 诪讞诇诇 one 砖讘转, 讻讚讬 砖讬砖诪讜专 砖讘转讜转 讛专讘讛, should be able to do a lot of Shabbos. That's amazing. He's the one who's who's who's meikil. He's the one who says that if if if if you if you're not sure, the 讻诇讜 诇讜 讞讚砖讬讜, then he's like an So, obviously here, we are sure. He's muktzeh there. He's not 讻诇讜 诇讜 讞讚砖讬讜. We know for sure it's not 讻诇讜 诇讜 讞讚砖讬讜. For example, he's born in the eighth month, and you're not even 注驻状讬 讛诇讻讛 you're not allowed to touch him. He holds He holds, as long as you don't know that it was for sure In other words, as long as if you don't know for sure it was 讻诇讜 诇讜 讞讚砖讬讜, he's he's he's So, obviously, here he says when you do know, when he's alive. The Rebbe gave me the same answer. Once I was scheduled for an operation, and it came out on the nine days, so I wanted to put it off and everything else, like, and he asked the Rebbe, and he said, \"Have it. You'll be able to spend Enjoy many You told many more Yomim Tovim.\" That's right. But as long as he's alive, 讚讜讚 诪诇讱 讬砖专讗诇 诪转, 讗驻讬诇讜 讚讜讚! Who could you give a better example of the greatest person, David HaMelech, so when he died, 讗讬谉 诪讞诇诇讬谉 注诇讬讜 讗转 讛砖讘转. Can't. Why? 讻讬讜谉 砖诪转 讗讚诐 讘讟诇 诪谉 讛诪爪讜转, when he died he's patur from battel from mitzvot. 讛讬讬谞讜 讚讗诪专 专讘讬 讬讜讞谞谉, 专讘讬 讬讜讞谞谉 just said there's a pasuk, 讘诪转讬诐 讞驻砖讬. By the dead people, it's free. Free from what? 讻讬讜谉 砖诪转 讗讚诐, 谞注砖讛 讞驻砖讬 诪谉 讛诪爪讜转, he's free from mitzvot. So, it's all connected. Why can't you be 诪讞诇诇 砖讘转? Cuz you should be able to keep more mitzvot. Cuz if a person is dead and can't can't keep any mitzvot anyway, you can't be 诪讞诇诇 砖讘转 for him. They put a 讻讻专 on him. What's a 讻讻专? They couldn't move him, so they put a piece of bread on him. I mean, he's muktzeh, but you could put a piece of bread and you want to move the bread, so you can move together with a dead body. 转谞讬讗, it says, 专讘谉 砖诪注讜谉 讘谉 讗诇注讝专 讗讜诪专, 专讘谉 砖诪注讜谉 讘谉 讗诇注讝专 says, 转讬谞讜拽 讘谉 讬讜诪讜 讞讬. You have a 19-year-old, though. 19, 18-year-old. 转讬谞讜拽, a cynic, it says 转讬谞讜拽 and a 讻讻专, yeah. A 转讬谞讜拽 讘谉 讬讜诪讜 讞讬, you have a little child, a day old, is alive, 讗讬谉 爪讜专讱 Oh, it was called a 转讬谞讜拽, it was before he was Oh, that's not, that's a that's, that's when he is dead, that's, yeah. So a child even a day old, as long as he's alive, 讗讬谉 爪讜专讱 诇砖诪专讜 诪谉 讛讞讜诇讚讛 讜诪谉 讛注讻讘专讬诐. You don't have to protect him from the mice and from the the weasels. Even though how big is he? Tiny. 讗讘诇 注讜讙 诪诇讱 讛讘砖谉 诪转, 注讜讙 诪诇讱 讛讘砖谉 is so big, but if he's dead, 爪专讬讱 诇砖诪专讜 诪谉 讛讞讜诇讚讛 讜诪谉 讛注讻讘专讬诐. You have to protect him from the mice, from the 讞讜诇讚讛. From 注讜讙 诪诇讱 讛讘砖谉. And so he gives an example. Even that person is very big, but if he's dead, in other words, the mice feel that if he's alive, they won't touch him, they'll be afraid of him. If he's dead, with the biggest person, like 注讜讙 诪诇讱 讛讘砖谉, they are not afraid. 砖谞讗诪专, it says, 讜诪讜专讗讻诐 讜讞转讻诐 讬讛讬讛, says, the Aibershter made that the fear of the people should be on the animals, but it says 讜讞转讻诐. 讞转讻诐 is also from the shoresh of the word chai. 讻诇 讝诪谉 砖讗讚诐 讞讬, as long as a person is alive, 讗讬诪转讜 诪讜讟诇转 注诇 讛讘专讬讜转. His fear is put onto the animals. 讻讬讜谉 砖诪转, when he dies, 讘讟诇讛 讗讬诪转讜. I noticed they didn't mention a 谞讞砖 here. I don't know if you can rely on this for a 谞讞砖. Why not? Because a 谞讞砖 is Oh, he tries to bite anyway. Yeah, that's from the 拽诇诇讛. Are you allowed to kill a fly or an ant? If it's annoying, yes. It bothers you. When a person he died he died, so the fear of him ceases, he's dead. So, I mean, obviously the The animal doesn't fear him. How does the how does the animal know? How could you see whether you could tell if he's alive or not? He knows if he's alive or not? Instinct is That's the way the Aibershter made that he should be able to know if he's alive or not. It's a chidush. 讞讜诇讬, he looks at that guy. What if a guy what if the child is sleeping? What does the animal what does the mouse know? He knows.

Halachic Rules about Lions and Animal Attacks

讗诪专 专讘 驻驻讗, Rav Pappa says, 谞拽讟讬谞谉, we have a 讻诇诇, 讗专讬讛 讗讘转专讬 诇讗 谞驻讬诇, a lion will not attack two people. A lion could attack one, but not two. Freigt di Gemara, 讛讗 拽讞讝讬谞谉 讚谞驻讬诇, we see it does attack two. So di Gemara says, 讛讛讜讗 讻讚专讘讛 讘专 讗讘讗, that's like Rabbah bar Abba. 讚讗诪专 专讘讛 讘专 讗讘讗, Rabbah bar Abba said, 讗讬谉 讞讬讛 砖讜诇讟转 讘讗讚诐 注讚 砖谞专讗讛 诇讜 讻讘讛诪讛. When does a 讞讬讛 attack a person? When it's to the The person looks like a 讘讛诪讛. In other words, the 爪诇诐 讗诇讜拽讬诐 is taken off. 砖谞讗诪专, it says, 讗讚诐 讘讬拽专 讜诇讗 讬诇讬谉 谞诪砖诇 讻讘讛诪讜转 谞讚诪讜. Now, 驻砖讟 驻砖讟 谞诪砖诇 讻讘讛诪讜转 谞讚诪讜 means he's compared to a 讘讛诪讛. But the word 谞诪砖诇 means it's a 诪砖诇, compared. 谞讚诪讜 is compared. Why does it say two words? So we darshen: 谞诪砖诇 is from 诇砖讜谉 砖诇讬讟讛, 砖诇讟, control, that when does the animal have control? 讻讘讛诪讜转 谞讚诪讜, if you look like a 讘讛诪讛. But that's if a person doesn't have a 爪诇诐 讗诇讜拽讬诐. Even if one he should be if he's a tzadik, even one should be ein hachi nami, ein hachi nami. So why does he say two? He does say, he said, we see by two, he said, those two that you saw happen to be like 讘讛诪讜转. But he's but he says he won't he won't grab two. In other words, he says he won't grab two. Yeah. Why didn't he say he won't grab one? Should say he won't grab one if he's a tzadik. The lion won't attack one if he's a tzadik. Why does he say If he's a tzadik, probably 讚专讙讜转 of 爪讚拽讜转. If it's a 爪讚讬拽 one, it's less. Two, you combine the 爪讚拽讜转 of both, so even if each one is like, let's say, half a 爪讚讬拽. But if a guy is a 爪讚讬拽 讙诪讜专, then he won't attack him either. There're plenty of stories told, plenty of stories where the there's 讝讻讜转 讛讙讚讜诇讬诐 that came carrying the lions, fed the lions and Yeah, circus, got the circus, and, yeah, he held the lions. Or HaChaim? What? Was protected by a lion. That's why Rashi says that he's if he's 讞讬讬讘, so bad that he's 讞讬讬讘 诪讬转讛 讘讬讚讬 砖诪讬诐. Who? Rashi says. On what? On on the animal that he that is behavior is so bad, that's why he's like an animal. That's your answer. Not here. Is that your answer? That's what it says here. It's like a bear. Two guys running away from a bear, so one one said to the other, you think you could outrun him? So he said, no, I only have to outrun you.

Lilith and the Prohibition of Sleeping Alone

讗诪专 专' 讞谞讬谞讗, Rabbi' Chanina said, 讗住讜专 诇讬砖谉 讘讘讬转 讬讞讬讚讬, you're not allowed to sleep in a room alone. Obviously, it means if there is no light on, no fire. 讜讻诇 讛讬砖谉 讘讘讬转 讬讞讬讚讬, you sleep alone, 讗讜讞讝转讜 诇讬诇讬转. Lilith will get to you. Who is Lilith? Lilith, that's the shed. It's a female shed, female shed. The mother of all shedah. She is the the mother of all, the queen of all the shedim. This means never, or or on a regular basis? No, never. So you should always have a little light on if you're by yourself. You got a Lilith? Yeah. I have to say Mishnayot, so thanks. So we're going to daven, we're going to daven in five minutes, but I stopped before.

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